


Over the Living Room Wall

by Impsc



Category: Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Remus being Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impsc/pseuds/Impsc
Summary: So this is basically OTGW if the sides were in it, but not exactly, it sort of takes place after, read it and you'll see what I meanIt starts off very close to the original plot but gets further away near the end, and you don't have to have watched the show to understand what's going on
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	1. The Old Grist Mill

~ _Led through the mist, by the milk light of moon, all that was lost is revealed_ ~

~ _Our long bygone burdens, mere echoes of the spring~_

_~But where have we come, and where shall we end?~_

_~If dreams can’t come true, then why not pretend…_ ~

* * *

“But the very worst name for froggy me would be-“

“Wait!” All six of them stuttered to a stop as Logan cut off Patton mid frog speech and halted in the middle of the path. “Wait,” he continued, as Patton, Roman, Remus, Virgil, and Janus all turned to look at him.

“What are we doing?”

“We’re walking in the woods?” Roman said, raising an eyebrow.

“No, yes, I mean, what are we doing here? In the woods?”

Logan looked around, Patton and Remus following his gaze, Remus getting distracted by a bluebird and nearly running off before Janus pulled him back by the cape. “I think we’re lost.”

“That’s ridiculous, we’re not lost!” said Roman, looking around as well.

“Oh really,” said Janus, “I suppose you can tell us exactly where we are then.” Roman’s face fell with realization.

“Please do,” said Virgil, stepping slightly closer to the group as he looked around as well, properly taking in their surroundings for the first time. They seemed to have been walking along a forest path. The reddish barked trees rose up all around them, the multicolored fall leaves blocking out much of the sunlight, which was fading quickly. “Preferably also tell us why.”

“It is rather strange that we are all here together,” said Janus, looking at the rest of them with disdain. “No offense.”

“None taken,” said Virgil sarcastically, returning the exact same look.

“Okay kiddos,” Patton said, looking concernedly back and forth between Virgil and Janus, “as long as we’re here together, let’s try not to fight too much, okay?”

He turned to look at Logan as Virgil and Janus moved to opposite sides of the group, Virgil giving Janus the stink eye and Janus dragging Remus over with him.

Logan was still looking around, and was about to speak again when-

_Chop. Chop. Chop_

“~ ** _…cut the wood to light the fire…_** ~”

They all froze as the sound of an axe chopping wood as an ominous tune came through the air.

Then Roman and Remus spoke together, Remus’s eyes lighting up as he said,

“Do you hear the axe?!-“ and Roman saying,

“That song-“ but they were both quickly cut off as Janus brought both of their hands up over their mouths with the swipe of his own, accompanied by a harsh but quiet _Shhh!_

They both turned to Janus with indignant looks on their faces, but Logan silently caught the groups attention by pointing urgently in the direction of the chopping wood, to a good distance through the trees and off the path, where they could all see a rather large figure of a man in a black coat and stovepipe hat swing an axe over and over again into one of the trees. Janus turned back to Roman and Remus, giving them a pointed look before dropping their hands, and at Logan’s direction the six of them quietly made their way to hide behind the nearest trees.

After a few seconds, Virgil whispered, “Do you think it's some kind of deranged lunatic with an axe waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims?”

There was a few more seconds of concerned silence, interrupted by axe chopping sounds, before Patton whispered, “We should ask him for help!”

“No we should not ask him for help!” Virgil hissed back.

“But-“

“Shh!”

“You shh!”

“Shhh-“

Janus looked about ready to shut people up again when the woodsman suddenly picked up his axe and walked further into the trees, and they were left in silence again.

“Shoot,” said Virgil, looking at the spot the man had vanished into the woods. “You think we should have asked him for help?”

“No, I think we should just wander around in the woods forever,” said Janus, rolling his eyes.

“Well, okay, next time you see a spooky guy with an axe in the woods, you can approach him and ask then,” Virgil shot back.

“All right kiddos, let’s all calm down.” Patton made a placating gesture, which did not help Virgil calm down at all.

Logan fiddled with his tie and said, “As disconcerting as this whole situation is, he was the only person we’ve seen-“

Virgil turned on Logan, nearly shouting, “so we should just ask random strangers for help then!?”

Patton took a step forward, looking at Virgil with concern. Virgil took a step back, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m sorry.” He shook his head and pulled his hoodie closer around him. “I just… don’t like this place.”

“And you’re not alone, emo,” said Roman, who was nervously holding the handle of his sword. “This place is creepier than the Horned Kings castle.”

Remus, on the other hand, did not look nervous at all. “Well, I love it here, this place is terrifying!” He swung his mace over his shoulder, smiling and looking at every shadowy corner with interest.

“Creepy trees, creepy axe guy, creepy song! Not to mention that there could be anything in those shadows.” He wiggled his fingers and giggled.

“Oh, please don’t,” said Patton, pulling on the sleeves of his shirt and looking anywhere but the shadows in the trees, an increasingly difficult task, as the woods were only getting darker. “I would prefer not to think about that actually.”

Remus began creeping towards Patton, his grin getting bigger and bigger. “Bats, snakes, rats, spiders-“

“No! Nope! No thank you! Please stop talking!” Patton scrambled backward behind Virgil, closing his eyes and clutching Virgil’s hoodie.

Remus kept coming, smiling even wider. “But I haven’t even gotten started-“

Roman stepped between Patton and Remus, blocking him from getting any closer. “All right, that’s enough, we’re already freaking out a bit here, we don’t need you making everything worse.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m feeling perfectly at ease.” Janus pretended to examine his nails through his gloves.

Roman laughed. “Oh please, you can do better than that, Jack the Fibber.”

“Yes,” Logan said, straightening his tie. “I do think it’s rather pointless to pretend now that none of us are not at least a little unnerved by this place.”

“I’m not pretending at all,” laughed Remus, “You’re not fooling anyone though, snake, I know you’re thinking about all the things that could be lurking in the darkness-“

“What did I say about making it worse!”

“-and so many _types_ of insects, maybe even a tarantula-“

“a tarantula is not an insect-“

“ _please_ stop talking about spiders-“

“What are you doing here?! Explain yourselves!!” yelled an unfamiliar voice.

Everyone screamed in unison, although Remus mostly only screamed because everyone around him was. The man they had seen before chopping wood had come up behind them while they had been distracted, and he now spoke again,

“What are you doing here?! Don’t you know the Beast is afoot here?!”

“The Beast?!” yelped Patton, clutching Virgil’s hoodie even tighter.

“We don’t know anything about a Beast, we’re just lost and we’re trying to get home!”

“Well, welcome to the Unknown.” The man looked over them all, Patton crouching behind Virgil, Roman standing between them and Remus, and Janus and Logan slightly off to the side, although they had all moved closer when they had been startled. “You’re more lost than you realize.”

* * *

The Woodsman opened the door to the old mill, and the group followed him into the dim firelight of the small room as he said, “I live here in this homestead with my daughter. She is asleep upstairs.” He walked over to the fire and leaned over to stoke it, his face dramatically lit by the flames. “You should be safe here, while I work.” They all moved into the room, Patton, Virgil, Roman, and Logan sticking close to each other, Janus leaning up against the wall opposite the Woodsman, his eyes following Remus as he ran in and immediately started picking up and examining the various knickknacks set on shelves and tables.

Virgil spoke up. “What, um, what is your work, exactly?”

“Everyone has a torch to burn.” The Woodsman looked down to the floor on his left, as if expecting to see something there. “I used to- Well, I needn’t concern you with that. Nowadays I protect the adlewood trees, and cut down others to keep this homestead warm, and my daughter safe. This is my lot in life, my burden to bear.”

Virgil whispered to Logan, Patton, and Virgil. “This guy is creeping me out. Maybe we should make a break for it, if we can. But he must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock him out, first. Except...that might turn out really badly, huh? Yeah, bad, bad plan, forget it, bad plan.”

“Okay!” said Remus as he popped up behind Logan, who barely stopped himself from jumping. Remus went back to messing around with the knickknacks.

“What are you whispering about?” said the Woodsman.

“We’re talking about running away from your creepy ass,” said Remus.

“Shh!” Virgil hissed.

“Shhh!” Remus hissed right back, grinning.

“Shhh!”

“Shhh!”

“Leave, if you wish.” The Woodsman stood, hefting his axe over his shoulder. “But remember, the Beast haunts these woods,” he raised his other arm dramatically, “ever singing, his mournful melody... in search of lost souls such as yourselves!”

“To help us?” said Patton, slightly hopefully.

“No, not to help you,” the Woodsman responded. “I have work to do in the mill. When I'm finished, I will do what I can to guide you.” He walked over to the door and Virgil, Patton, Logan and Roman edged away. “If you are still here when I return.” The Woodsman walked out through another door to the side, leaving them alone in the room.

“Huh,” said Virgil. “I guess we could just leave. But, I don’t know…” he trailed off, watching Remus continue to fiddle with the knickknacks.

“Do you think there really is a Beast out there?” said Patton. “Or, is- is that guy just messing with us?”

Roman put a reassuring hand on Patton’s shoulder. “Of course not! And even if there was a Beast, I would slay it for you Patton.”

“Well, don’t lie to him, Roman,” said Janus, smirking.

“Yes,” said Logan, before Janus or Roman could say anything else. “While ‘Beast’ is a rather dramatic and intimidating title, I doubt he could be referring to anything more than a large animal of some sort. However, a large animal in the woods could be potentially dangerous, so we ought to take advantage of this Woodsman’s hospitality.”

Virgil rubbed his arms and looked towards the door. “I mean, he could've done away with us by now, if that was his plan. And he left that fire, that's... pretty nice.” There was a few moments of silence, other than the crackling fire and the sound of Remus swinging several items around, including a banjo, a cuckoo clock, and a piece of firewood.

“Well.” Janus suddenly stood from his position on the wall. “As incredibly stimulating as this conversation is, I’m finding the utter lack of information we have unhelpful. Should you feel the need to impose your presence on me, I will be exploring the mill.”

He moved toward the door, only to be blocked by Roman. “Oh no you don’t, you slimy snake.” Janus raised an eyebrow.

“Good idea, Roman,” said Logan.

“What? I-“

“We shouldn’t be going anywhere alone,” he continued.

“Janus's idea was good too!” said Patton. “More information is good, right?”

Janus’s smile was tight. “Of course. And I would love nothing more than to be accompanied by you, Roman.”

Roman looked back and forth between Logan, Janus, and Patton, incredulity on his face. “I- you- Ugh! Fine.”

* * *

Janus peered out into the darkness, then walked over to the right.

Roman followed, opening his mouth to speak, but Janus had already finished examining the barrel and was moving on.

Roman stopped behind him again and again started to speak, and again, Janus moved before he could, this time toward a window where a slight clanking sound was coming from.

Janus stopped abruptly in front of the window, causing Roman to nearly walk into him.

This time Roman did speak. “Hey!-“

“Shh!” Janus cut Roman off by forcing his hand over his mouth. Roman looked furious and tried to say something under his own hand, which Janus again cut off with a harsh look and a point towards the window, where they could now both see the Woodsman.

He was facing away from them, and appeared to be slowly dismantling some kind of machine made of pipes and wood and metal gears, apparently the source of the clanking noise. They both watched him for a moment, Janus narrowing his eyes with confusion.

Roman began to pull on his hand, which was still firmly covering his mouth, when a loud snap of a branch came out of the darkness of the woods, causing both of them to whip around, Roman’s hand going from his mouth to his sword.

“What was that?” said Roman in a rather loud stage whisper. This time it was Janus who was cut off before he could respond by a loud growling coming from the same place in the darkness. Roman drew his sword and steadied himself. “Come out, Beast! I know you’re there!”

“Will you shut up!” hissed Janus in a stage whisper of his own.

“What, or you’ll shut me up again? I didn’t even say anything before!”

“You were being annoying enough without even opening your mouth!”

“Well now who’s being loud?!”

“YOU ARE!”

“SHUT UP!”

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

“AAAAAHHHHHHYOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!”

* * *

Remus, who had evidently finished messing around with the Woodsman’s things, was now stretched out on the red fainting couch that looked very out of place in the otherwise rather rustic looking room. He bounced his mace idly on his forehead, causing Patton and Virgil to wince every time it hit, even though he wasn’t doing it hard enough to cause any actual damage. Logan was staring absently into the fire, the flames reflecting in his glasses. “Does any of this seem familiar to you?” he said suddenly.

“What do you mean?” said Virgil.

Logan was about to respond when he was interrupted by a loud yelling from outside, culminating in screaming and what sounded like Roman yelling “YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!” The door burst open with a bang and Roman and Janus ran in, causing Virgil and Patton to jump out of the way in order to avoid Roman’s sword. Remus jumped up, mace at the ready. Then, the Woodsman slammed open the other door.

“What’s happening!?” he shouted. The front door banged again and a huge black dog looking creature with glowing, multicolored eyes filled the entire door frame, growling loudly.

“It’s the Beast!” yelled Roman.

“Stay back, boys!” yelled the Woodsman, as Remus ran up the stairs on all fours behind him. The Woodsman stepped forward, tripping over one of the knickknacks Remus had left on the floor, Remus swing his mace directly into the Woodsman’s forehead as he fell to the ground, now unconscious.

“Remus! Why did you do that!?” yelled Virgil.

“That was the plan, remember? Knock him out!” Remus yelled back, cackling.

“What?! No! Bad plan! I said to forget that plan!”

“Too late now!”

Patton, who had been pulling a wide-eyed Logan back from the door and the dog, spotted the Woodsman’s axe lying next to him on the floor. He grabbed it and started waving the wrong end of it in the dog’s face. “Bad dog, naughty, stop, stop, stop!”

“Run!” yelled Janus, trying to pull Patton, Logan, and Virgil towards the door the Woodsman had come from. “GO!” Janus’s shout snapped Logan out of his shock, and the two of them pulling on Patton and Virgil managed to get them all out of the room, Roman defending their backs with his sword, Remus howling with laughter. They all ran into the machine room, Roman running to the front and leading them up to the relatively high ground of the rickety loft above the machine.

“This is amazing, right!?” laughed Remus as he pushed the last of them up.

“No, Remus, this is not amazing!” Virgil nearly tripped over a sack of potatoes and began throwing them at the dog’s head. “Nothing about this is amazing!”

“Should I throw something?” said Patton, gripping the axe tightly with both hands, still upside down. The dog shrieked, causing Patton to shriek as well, and throw the axe at the dog’s head.

“Aw, yeah!” said Remus, preparing to throw his mace, too. “Hey, Roman, throw your sword!”

“Everybody stop throwing things!” yelled Logan, grabbing the back of the mace before Remus could throw it. The dog screeched again, leaping up and scratching at the wood in an attempt to climb up to the loft. The group of them retreated further, with various noises of distress and more laughter from Remus, out a nearby trapdoor and onto the roof.

“You’re all idiots!” yelled Janus, pulling his cane out of somewhere in his coat. “Fetch!” he shouted at the dog as he tossed the cane off the roof.

The dog leapt straight after it, cause Patton to scream “No!” They all ran to the edge of the roof and watch as the dog’s back legs got stuck in the water wheel of the mill, which continued to turn, squishing the dog’s body with a strangely gross wet sound. The wood of the roof began to crack around them and they all stumbled and fell into the river as it broke completely under their feet. There was a popping sound and a small black turtle shot out of the dog’s mouth and onto the grass.

One by one they each made their way out of the water. Logan attempted to dry his glasses on his wet shirt and Virgil took off his hoodie to wring it out. Janus attempted to wring out his cape as well, only to get splashed in the face with more water as Remus scrambled out of the river and shook himself like a dog. Roman pulled off his boots one at a time and dumped the water out of them and back into the river, and Patton waded out with the dog, which had Janus’s cane in its mouth, saying “look, look! Doggo spit out that turtle and now he’s my new best friend! Oh hey, where ya goin’?” The dog trotted over to Janus dropped the cane at Janus’s feet and shook itself, showering Janus with water yet again.

The Woodsman came out of the destroyed mill, waving his arms in distress. “The mill, our home! Destroyed!”

“Oh no!” said Patton. “Um, but look! We got the beast problem solved.” He pointed toward the dog, which was now curled up and asleep on the grass.

“That dog?! That is NOT the Beast!” The Woodsman advanced on Patton, and Roman stepped in between them, one boot on and sword at the ready.

“The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet!” The Woodsman turned toward Logan now, this time Virgil blocking his way.

“He stalks, like the night--“ the Woodsman raised his arms dramatically, now at Janus, and Remus growled in warning.

“He sings like the Four Winds—” The Woodsman turned to face the woods. “--he is the Death of Hope! He steals their children, and, he'll...ruuuiiin...” He trailed off, mumbling to himself.

“Idiots, like I said,” said Janus.

“No!” shouted the Woodsman, turning back around suddenly, “You have it wrong! You are all responsible for each other’s actions!”

“Um, we’re sorry!” said Patton. “Maybe we can fix it?” He looked at the rubble of the house and then down to his hands. “We can’t fix it.”

The Woodsman sighed. “You must go. Head north. Look for a town.”

“Yeah. Thanks, that sounds like a good plan,” said Logan. “Come on, let’s go.” Virgil put his hoodie back on and Roman put on his other boot.

“One last thing!” said the Woodsman, urgently. “Beware, the Unknown! Fear the Beast! And leave these woods! If you can.” Janus picked up his cane with two fingers, as it was still covered in drool and water, and Remus shook himself once more.

“It is your burden to bear!” Logan tried to dry his glasses again and headed toward what was presumably north, and Patton followed behind. “And please,” added the Woodsman more quietly as he watched them walk off into the darkness. “Stay together.”

Patton was the last of them to leave, and paused to turn back before following the rest of them. “Okay.” And with that, they disappeared into the wood.


	2. Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keeping this group together is harder than it looks

Remus led the group down the path, repeatedly blowing raspberries and occasionally making other rude noises. The rest of them walked slightly behind, Roman with his hands over his ears and Virgil’s hoodie pulled tight over his.

Logan sighed. “It’s almost morning. We should have found a town by now.”

“Well,” said Patton, “this is the way the Woodsman told us to go, right?”

Remus made an extra loud noise. “Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve been saying? For the last couple hours, I’ve been saying-“ he blew another raspberry.

“Well, that settles it,” said Roman. “I’m going to walk up 10 feet ahead of you. Or, better yet, why don’t you just shut him up, Deceit?”

“Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” said Janus with irritation. Patton gave him a look and Janus sighed, “I wish I could, but watch.” He raised his hand and Remus covered his mouth. This only served to make him make a slightly different sound, and only worked for about three seconds before Remus removed his hand to show Janus his middle finger.

“That’s right bitches,” said Remus without turning around. “~ _Don’t stop me nooow, cause I’m havin’ a good time, havin’ a good tiiiiime!_ ~”

“Unfortunately,” said Janus, “he’s kind of immune to it at this point.”

“Great,” said Roman, covering his ears again. “Remind me again why we must travel with either of you.”

“Safety in numbers,” said Logan. “Not to mention that we don’t know anything about this place and we could easily be lost-“ Remus made another exceptionally obnoxious sound and Logan gritted his teeth. “Although, even I could use a break from annoying noises at this point.”

“Well great!” said Roman. “Any dark sides can feel free to get lost in the woods at any point. No offense emo.”

“And normally I would take offense to that,” said Virgil, “but Logan has a point, Remus _needs_ to shut up.”

“Oh, hey, no, wait,” stuttered Patton. “We can’t _really_ split up! The Woodsman said-“

“Who cares what that creepy old man said!” Roman snapped.

“Hey, look!” interrupted Logan. “Pottsfield, one mile.” He pointed to the small wooden sign set to the right side as the came to a split in the path.

“Great! A town!” said Patton. “Let’s go this way!”

“Okay,” said Janus. “Let’s go this way.” He headed off in the other direction, pulling Remus behind him.

“All right, see ya suckers!” said Remus as he bounced after Janus, flipping his mace to his shoulder.

“No, wait-“ started Patton, before he was interrupted by Roman.

“You won’t be missed!”

“Fuck you!”

“Hang on!” Patton looked back and forth between Janus and Remus walking away to the left and Roman and Virgil headed toward Pottsfield, to the right. “Wait! We shouldn’t…” he trailed off as they got further away. “We shouldn’t split up,” he said, more to himself than anything.

Logan, who was still standing next to him, gave him a sympathetic look. “Come on,” he said, as he gently pulled Patton towards Pottsfield. “Trust me, once they’ve made up their minds, it’ll take a lot to get them to listen. We’ll meet up with them again eventually.” Patton followed with some reluctance, looking back a few times before following Logan, Roman, and Virgil toward the town.

Logan and Patton caught up to Roman and Virgil, catching Roman mid rant about Janus.

“I mean, he’s clearly the bad guy here but they still won’t listen- aahh!”

“What!?” said Virgil, who had been nodding along but jumped at Roman’s yell. He had also stopped, Patton and Logan nearly running into him.

“I stepped on a pumpkin!” Roman scrambled to get his footing, the round pumpkin stuck on his foot causing him to slide and trip, knocking to the rest of them and causing them to step into pumpkins as well. “What the-“ He finally managed to stand and kick the pumpkin off his foot. Everyone else dislodged their own pumpkins and Logan straightened his glasses and tie and looked up.

“Ah, look, civilization.” Logan pointed down the hill where they could see several wooden houses and barns among the pumpkin fields. “All right. Let’s rejoin society.”

* * *

“Hmm,” said Logan as they walked through the silent rows of houses. “Do any of you see anybody?”

“I see you!” said Patton with a smile.

“Yeah,” Logan replied with a small smile of his own. “I see you too Patton.”

“Not to be negative,” said Virgil, “But an abandoned ghost town doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that useful in getting us home.”

“Well there’s got to be somebody somewhere,” said Roman assuredly, but his hand was on his sword.

Logan walked over to the front door of one of the houses. He went to knock, but the door opened at the slight touch of his hand. “Hello?” He opened the door further. “Excuse me? Is there anyone here?” He looked into the room, which was only lit by the sunlight coming in through the door. As he continued to open the door, the light fell onto a desk, and then onto what appeared to be a human sized turkey, sitting at the desk. “Oh. Sorry.” Logan blinked and started to close the door, then remembered why he had opened the door in the first place. “Uh, I’m, looking for a, phone.” The turkey’s head flopped forward onto the desk. It did not respond. Logan backed up slightly. “Um. I’m sorry,” he said, turning around and walking quickly back to Patton and Virgil.

“Did you find anything?” asked Virgil, pulling his hood off his head.

“I-, no.” Logan responded. “Where’s Roman?” Patton and Virgil looked around, realizing that Roman was no longer standing with them.

“Do you hear that?” Roman’s head disappeared behind the corner it had just popped out from behind and the rest of them moved toward him, and as they did, they started to hear the sound of people, many people, singing.

“~… _let spirits you're in the maypole dance a river too wild, my soul and to bind the_...~”

The singing turned out to be coming from a barn. Lead by Roman, they all walked over to the open door and looked in.

Inside the barn was what appeared to be many, many, dancing pumpkins. The singing seemed to be coming straight out of their carved jack o’ lantern faces as several of them danced around a maypole with pumpkin bodies and corn husk arms and legs. They were dressed in old fashioned country attire, tall hats and boots with buckles, some with bonnets, and either rustic dresses or suits. A few of them were playing instruments and some were carving even more pumpkins. The rest of the barn was full off other pumpkin people holding hands and dancing in smaller circles, one of which included a small black cat dancing with the rest, holding corn husk hands with cat paws and dancing on it’s hind legs. They stood in the doorway in silence, taking in the scene, when someone bumped into Logan from behind.

“Oh, pardon me there!” They all turned to see yet another pumpkin person edged between Logan and Roman into the barn. “Say, you folks ought to don your vegetables and celebrate the harvest with us,” the pumpkin person continued.

“Uh… oh!” stuttered Logan. “You’re wearing costumes.”

“Well sure,” they said. “Pumpkins can’t move on their own… can they?”

“Ha. No. Yeah, no.”

Virgil’s gaze followed the pumpkin person as they walked in and joined one of the dancing circles. “You guys find this place as creepy as I do, right?”

Patton fidgeted with his cat hoodie. “So it’s some kind of thing where they wear vegetable costumes and dance around a big thing.”

“It’s called a maypole,” said Logan.

“Oh,” continued Patton, still fidgeting. “They seem nice enough.”

“Okay, you’re in denial, that’s fine,” said Virgil. “But I’m just saying, something feels off about this place.” There was a loud creak as one of the people carving a new pumpkin turned its head to look at them.

“Well,” said Logan. “Maybe we can find someone here who can give us a ride home. You all stay here.” He walked off into the crowd. Roman, meanwhile, had relaxed slightly and was actually bopping a bit to the music. He turned to Patton and Virgil with a smile.

“May I have this dance?”

“Sure!” said Patton eagerly heading forward.

“No, thank you!” said Virgil at the same time, attempting to back up and running up against the barn door. Roman grabbed both of their hands and pulled them out onto the dance floor as Virgil continued to protest. “No thanks, no thanks! I said no thank you!”

Meanwhile, Logan was wandering at the edge of the crowd, trying to find someone who wasn’t dancing.

“Say, aren’t you a little too… early?” Logan started and turned around to see another pumpkin person with braids and a dress standing directly behind him, apparently waiting for an answer to their question.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it doesn’t seem like you’re ready to join us just yet.” They tilted their head slightly.

Logan leaned back a bit. “Join you? No, we’re just passing through.”

“Folks don’t tend to ‘pass through’ Pottsfield.” They moved a bit closer.

Logan backed up again. “Oh. Is that right?”

“Yeah. It’s nice here.” Their tone had stayed pleasant, but since their face was a pumpkin there was no way for Logan to gauge their expression as he looked into the dark holes they had for eyes.

“Um, we’re really just looking to leave here as fast as possible.”

“Eh, what, what?” A loud voice came suddenly from Logan’s other side. “Leave Pottsfield? Who wants to leave Pottsfield?” The voice seemed to be coming from a wrinkly, older looking pumpkin person with an ear trumpet held up to the side of their head. Their near shout drew the attention of several other pumpkin people nearby.

“Huh?”

“What?”

“He wants to leave Pottsfield.”

“What?”

The commotion drew the attention of Roman, Patton, and Virgil, who were still dancing, Virgil somewhat reluctantly. “Oh!” said Patton, “are we leaving already?”

“Let’s leave immediately!” said Virgil, instantly taking the opportunity to stop dancing and pull the other two towards the door.

The crowd continued to grow more agitated, and Logan quickly attempted to push through them towards the others, saying “We’re really just trying to get home!”

The crowd kept muttering, getting louder. “Maybe they’re here to steal our crops.”

“To ruin our party!”

“Or maybe we just wanted to dance!” said Roman, attempting to calm the crowd as Logan reached them. The pumpkin people still advanced, surrounding them in the center of the barn.

“Now, hold on everybody.” A loud, deep voice came suddenly from somewhere up in the rafters of the barn. “Let’s not jump to any _conclusions._ ” A huge pumpkin, almost bigger than any of them, with painted on eyes and smiling mouth with rectangular teeth, came down out of the shadows, seemingly suspended by many maypole ribbons.

“Whoa,” whispered Roman under his breath. The rest of them stared, frozen.

“Enoch,” said the older pumpkin person. “What shall we do with them?”

The large pumpkin inhaled sharply, then leaned down close to the group, apparently supporting itself with two of the ribbons that were acting as its arms. “Now, let’s see here boys. How did you end up in this little town of ours?”

Logan cleared his throat and spoke. “Well, we were trying to get home. We came in town from the woods.”

Virgil spoke up. “Yeah, we saw your farms and your houses and thought, ‘hey, here’s a normal place with normal people-‘”

“And we all stepped on pumpkins!” said Patton.

“Yeah!” said Roman. “and then we heard the music from the barn and-“

“Hey, uh, how about we just leave?” said Virgil, trying to pull them away from the huge pumpkin and back toward the door, but he was blocked by the pumpkin people gathering closer around them.

The huge pumpkin leaned even closer, forcing the group tighter together. “Now, let me get this straight. You come to our town, you trample our crops, you interrupt our private engagement, and now you want to leave?”

“Um… yes,” said Virgil, with as much conviction as he could.

“You’ll never convict!” said Roman as the pumpkin came even closer. “You have no proof!” The huge pumpkin suddenly pulled itself back up to the rafters with a whoosh.

“Boys, it saddens me that you don't wish to stay here with us, particularly because I simply _have_ to punish you for your transgressions.” The maypole ribbons all pulled up at once, making an ominous rustling noise.

“ _I told you guys this place was bad news!_ ” Virgil hissed quietly.

“So, by order of the Pottsfield chamber of commerce,” The pumpkin rustled the maypole ribbons and spoke more loudly than it ever had before, “I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, disturbing the peace, and _murder_.” It got closer and closer with each crime it listed, ending up directly in front of their faces again.

“Murder?!” squeaked Patton, from behind Roman.

“Oh, no, not murder,” it said, backing up and lowering its voice back to its normal volume. “But for those other crimes, I sentence you to…” It paused, and the four of them inched closer together and Roman put his hand on his sword, “a few hours of manual labor.”

“Wait, what, really?” said Roman, straightening up. “That’s it?”

* * *

~ _I know she's never late, so anxiously I wait, patient is the night_ ~

* * *

“Ha-ha!” Roman hefted his shovel and lifted another pile of dirt out of hole he was digging. “Just a few hours of manual labor, and we’re almost done!”

Logan wiped the sweat from his forehead and leaned on his shovel in a hole of his own. “And then what are we going to do? Just wander around in the woods forever?”

Patton poked at the edge of Roman’s hole with his shovel. “Well, maybe we could just stay here in Pottsfield. It’s nice here. And we could wait for Janus and Remus to come back.”

Virgil, who hadn’t bothered to dig, sighed and leaned on his shovel, “Why do they even have us digging these holes?”

Roman looked down. “Planting seeds or something?”

Virgil smirked. “Maybe they’re going to bury _you_ out here.” Roman rolled his eyes and Virgil laughed.

“Um,” said Logan, his face suddenly pale. “You might want to come see this.” The rest of them came over.

“What is it, Logan?” Patton asked. They all leaned over and looked at what Logan was pointing to rather shakily with his shovel.

“A skeleton!” Roman shouted, quickly covering his mouth.

“ _We’re digging our own_ -“ Virgil whispered.

“ _Logan, what do we do?!_ ” said Patton, backing quickly away from the hole.

Logan backed up as far as he could from the skeleton, but he was still in the hole. “I-, we could-“

“Your time is up!”

“AAAHH!!” They all jumped and whirled around to see the pumpkin people approaching, led by the huge pumpkin, apparently walking on its maypole ribbons.

“Have the holes been dug?” Roman stepped in front of the rest of them to answer the pumpkin thing.

“Uh,” Roman wracked his brain, trying to think of something to say to get them out of this. “Yeah.”

This time one of the people in the crowd answered. “Splendid! Well then—”

“But, no!”

“No?”

“Uh-“

“ _Psst!!_ ” Roman turned around to see Virgil and Patton helping Logan out of the skeleton hole, and Virgil saying, “ _keep stalling!_ ”

“Right.” Roman turned back around, still with no idea of what he was going to say. “Yeah, uh, you know, we were digging, and there were too many rocks. You guys don't like rocks, right?”

The pumpkin people grumbled. “I don’t think we do.”

“No, we don’t like rocks.”

“I don’t think so.”

“See?” Roman nodded, they seemed to be following him, which was great, because he didn’t know where he was going with this. “So we were like, we should get rid of these rocks.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Roman laughed nervously. “Yeah, so, we were getting rid of the rocks and—huh?” Roman stopped when he heard running feet behind him. The skeleton hole was now empty, Virgil, Patton, and Logan nowhere in sight. “What?” Roman’s shoulders dropped with disbelief. “They left me.”

“So, what happened to the rocks?”

Roman whipped back around. “Uh, the rocks. Yeah, they -- they were, um, you know -- they -- they -- they got in the way of all the -- well, the dirt, you know, and... W-whoa!” Roman nearly fell backward into the skeleton hole as the _skeleton itself_ climbed out of the hole and walked over to join the pumpkin people. “Ahh!” The crowd welcomed the skeleton with enthusiasm, greeting them and handing over pumpkins, putting a carved one over their skull. Roman nearly fell over again jumping away from another skeleton as it passed much too close to him to join the crowd as well.

“What a wonderful harvest,” said the huge pumpkin, who was now watching over the rest of the pumpkin people as they danced and celebrated with the new arrivals. “And what about you? Are you sure you want to leave?”

“Me?” said Roman, still trying to compose himself. “Yes.”

“Oh, well. You’ll join us someday.”

“Uh…”

“ _Psst!_ ” Roman whirled around to see Virgil standing right behind him. “Why are you still here?”

“What do you mean? You guys left me!” Virgil pointed behind him towards the cornfield, where Roman could see Logan and Patton looking out from behind the stalks at the edge of the trees. “Oh.”

“Come on!” They both ran back to Logan and Patton, rejoining them in the woods.

“Are they chasing us?” Roman panted, checking behind him.

“No,” Virgil, Patton, and Logan answered together.

Roman relaxed, then turned to the rest of them angrily. “I though you guys left me!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Virgil. “We were just in the field, we saw everything, I don’t know why you didn’t follow us. Is everyone okay?”

Roman crossed his arms and nodded. Patton also nodded, although he still looked nervous, and Logan took a deep breath and answered, “I am fine. Especially since in hindsight it appears as though we were not in any actual danger, so any concern would be irrational.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows at Logan. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Unfortunately, the apparently completely safe town did not actually help us get home at all, so now what do we do?”

* * *

“So, snake boi, what’s the plan, huh?” Remus swung his mace around, hitting a branch and knocking a bunch of leaves onto Janus’s head.

Janus brushed off the leaves. “As annoying as you can be, I can only stand to be around all of that self-righteousness for so long.”

“Alrighty then, not really what I asked, but go off I guess.” The path they were on lead them into a thicker part of the forest. The trees grew closer together, and though it was daylight, the shadows of the trees made it seem much darker. Remus started banging his mace into various red and brown trees, taking off bits of bark. The wind blew through the trees, causing a few more leaves to fall, and Janus pulled his cloak tighter around him.

“~ ** _Tra la la la, Tra la la la_** ~”

Janus looked up at the slight sound of singing the wind had brought through the forest. Remus did not appear to have noticed anything, instead he closely examined his mace, which was now covered in something black and slimy. “Hey Janny, look at this, it’s disgusting!” He shoved the mace directly under Janus’s nose, nearly getting the black gunk on his face.

Janus pushed the mace away with one finger. “Stay here, I’m going to investigate something.” He turned around and walked quickly into the trees, off the path, where the shadows were even darker.

Remus plopped himself down in the middle of the path and began sticking his fingers into the black oil. He sniffed his oil covered finger, then after a second of hesitation, stuck it in his mouth. He made a ‘eh’ sort of face and wiped his finger on his leggings, looking around. “Hey, did you notice there’s faces in some of these trees?”

“~ ** _I don't know who she is, or where she is, or when or why she is_ …**~”

* * *

After some time, Janus came back out of the shadows to find Remus smashing his mace into various trees. “Hey Jan Jan, you’re back! Did you know only the ones with faces have the black stuff?” Remus turned around and Janus noted that Remus had somehow managed to get whatever it was on his sash, face, and hair.

“Will you cut that out, you’re totally not being disgusting.” Janus pulled Remus away, back toward Pottsfield. “Come on, we have to find V- the others, let’s go.” Janus turned away and Remus narrowed his eyes after him, then shrugged and let himself be pulled.

* * *

“~ **… _to Adelaide, Adelaide! Come on and join the Adelaide parade, Adelaide, to Adelaide_ …**~

“Wait, Virgil, shh, shh!” Roman said, waving his hands to tell the others to quiet down, even though only Virgil had been talking, having just finished asking his question. “Do you hear that? It sounds like the same person who was singing last night!”

“What,” said Logan, “the Woodsman?”

“Shh!” Roman said again. There was silence as they all listened. “Shoot, I don’t hear it anymore.”

“What’s an Adelaide?” asked Patton.

“Or who,” said Virgil.

“Well,” said Logan. “Maybe we ought to just keep following the path and hopefully find someone else to ask, for directions and perhaps about this Adelaide.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Virgil. “Because I think that the Woodsman’s directions were… not very good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip Patton and also Roman and probably Janus too.


	3. Circus Follies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> um, there's a clown in this chapter? so watch out if you're scared of clowns I suppose

“ _~It means no worries! For the rest of your days!~_ Come on guys, sing along!” This time Patton joined in with Roman to finish the line. “ _~It’s our problem free! Philosophy! Hakuna Matata!~_ ” They laughed together up ahead of Logan and Virgil.

“Thank goodness,” muttered Virgil. “It’s finally over. That non-stop peppy Disney music was getting almost as annoying as Remus.”

“Oh, mm, it’s not _that_ bad,” said Logan.

Virgil sighed. “No, it’s not, but still. I wish I had my headphones.”

“Mm,” said Logan. “I’d rather they sing than be in silence though.” He shivered and rubbed his arms. It had gotten slightly colder, and he was only in short sleeves. “I have a feeling that silence here would be… unnerving. I understand the impulse to fill it.”

“Fair,” Virgil replied. “I’m nervous enough as it is.”

“Hey look!” shouted Roman, causing Virgil to jump about three feet into the air.

“Will you please warn me or something instead of just screeching out of nowhere!” said Virgil, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, look!” Roman pointed up over the trees where there was, barely visible, a tiny flag and what looked like the top of a striped tent. Then, lilting calliope music came floating out of the trees from the same direction.

“Oh!” Patton clapped several times in a row. “It’s a circus!”

“ _~WhoaAAA oh oh oh!~_ ” Roman sang. “Right, Greatest Showman? You know?”

“Okay, hold on,” said Logan. “Before you get lost in the musical theatre, let us consider that this, like anything else we might find in these woods, could potentially be a dangerous place.” Roman was now bopping to the calliope music, which was getting louder as they got closer. “There are most likely people there, whom we could ask about directions and Adelaide, or-“

“-or,” Virgil cut him off, “there could be dangerous animals or people or pumpkin skeleton men who want us do dig our own graves.”

“Well, yes,” said Logan, “but I’ll remind you that the pumpkin people, though unsettling, were not actually dangerous.”

“Oh dear,” said Patton, suddenly worried. “Do you think they have animals stuck in there?”

“If they do,” stated Roman, flinging his arm to the sky, “we shall stage a heroic rescue! Either way, it’ll be fun, come on let’s go!” He grabbed Patton’s arm and they both bounced off toward the tent, Virgil and Logan following behind.

By the time they reached the clearing where several circus tents were set up around the biggest striped one, Roman and Patton had already rushed ahead into the biggest tent. “Wait, Roman-!” Virgil said. “Logan, come on!” he pulled Logan after them into the tent as well.

It was darker inside the tent, the central stage lit with spotlights and surrounded by a few rows of raised seats. Onstage, an announcer was saying, “and now, welcome our main singer, Ms. Langtree!” The announcer left the spotlight and a small woman in a plain dress with a large white feather in her neatly pinned up hair stepped into it and began to speak. “Oh, Jimmy Brown, why did you have to leave me once again? and now, with my father threatening to close the circus and that criminal clown on the loose, why, Jimmy, I just have one thing to say! ~ _"A" is for the apple that he gave to me, but I found a worm inside. "B" is for beloved that I..._ ~

“Oof,” said Virgil. “That lady’s got some baggage.” He looked out over the crowd. “Oh no. Did you see where Roman and Patton went? We need to find them, what if they’re in trouble somewhere?” Just then there was a loud clanging sound and the music accompanying the performer stopped temporarily, and Logan and Virgil looked over to see Roman and Patton tripping over the orchestra, apparently attempting to walk out the back of the tent.

Logan blinked. “You know, maybe we just leave them to their own devices for the time being, they can go out and ask people for help and we can all come together again when we leave, right?”

“Tired of being the taskmaster, huh?” Virgil smirked.

“That is… not inaccurate.”

* * *

“So, my theory is that hot dogs are not actually dogs, regardless of what they teach you in school,” Patton said as they walked past a hot dog stand. Roman nodded seriously.

“Makes sense. Unfortunately, uh- I mean-, excellently, this circus does not appear to have any trapped animals we could potentially rescue.” Roman struck a pose. “Although they could be lurking around any corner. We must stay vigilant.”

“Well, maybe we should be trying to find Logan and Virgil, it looks like we lost them when we ran through the tent,” said Patton, turning around.

“Oh, it’ll be fine, we find them before we leave. Why don’t we take a break huh? The nerd and the emo can find the information, they like that stuff.” Patton reluctantly turned back around. Roman noticed and thought a distraction was in order. “Hey, I got an idea, let’s play ‘two old cat’. Do you know how to play two old cat?” Roman felt a tug on his sash and looked down to see a small raccoon, standing on its hind legs and wearing a school uniform.

“Heya kiddos!” said Patton, smiling as more animals in uniforms came out of various hiding places in the tents and trees. “It looks like you already found one old cat!” And indeed, the piglet was holding a raggedy looking old cat in its front legs.

“Look Pat, I found another one!” Roman pulled a _very_ raggedy looking cat, which was wearing tiny cracked glasses and holding a tiny cane, out of the nearby brush. “Wait, no.”

“Yeah,” agreed Patton. “I think that cat is too old.” It gave a rather pathetic meow and Roman set it gently back on the ground. With the animal children’s help they found it a small saucer of water. Patton gave it a gentle pat. “I think we’ll have to find another old cat.”

“Hey, look,” said Roman spotting some reddish fluff poking out from behind a tent. “I think there’s one behind you!” He pointed past the small dog. They all got closer to see if it was really the old cat they needed to finish the game. Then Roman held out an arm, stopping Patton and the children as a strange, raspy breathing came from the red fluff. “Wait-“

The red fluff burst out from behind the tent, revealing itself to be a rather terrifying looking clown, with a red wig and a thick mask stuck over its face.

“Clown!” yelled Patton.

“RUN!” yelled Roman. Both of them picked up a child in each arm and herded the rest in front of them as they all ran for it into the maze of tents and calliope music, the clown close behind.

Back inside the main tent, Logan and Virgil were watching the woman sing the rest of her song. _“~…and "Y," yes, why is the question that's on my mind oh, why?_ ~”

“You know what,” said Virgil, “this song is dreadful, worse than Roman’s.”

“Well,” said Logan, “if she’s following the alphabet then the song ought to be over soon.” The song ended just as Logan had predicted, and the announcer came back onstage, but before he could speak a loud bell began tolling from somewhere outside the tent. Roman and Patton came running in with several small animals in both their arms and running around them, Roman wildly waving a bell he had gotten from somewhere.

“Clown!” yelled Roman, dropping the bell in order to better carry the animals as they all ran right through the middle of the stage.

The announcer, still in the spotlight after being nearly knocked over by Roman, Patton, and the animals, said “Okay then, why don’t we all go have a lovely meal in the cafeteria tent, hug? Come along.” He gestured to the audience, beckoning everyone to follow him offstage and out of the main tent, looking rather flustered.

“Oh boy!” yelled Roman, audible even though he was outside the tent now. “That sounds way better than being chased by a clown!”

They all congregated in another tent, almost as large, with wooden picnic tables set up inside. Roman and Patton had decided to sit with the children while Logan and Virgil sat at their own table in a corner as plates with plain looking mashed potatoes on them were handed out, as well as spoons.

One of the animal children, a possum, took a small bite of its food and then sighed. “Aw, what’s the matter?” said Patton. He tasted his own potatoes. “Hmm, kind of bland.” Roman looked around and noticed that the other animal children, as well as many of the audience members, were simply poking at their food, looking sad.

“Hey, I know what to do! I… remember?” said Roman. He went over to the corner of the tent across from Logan and Virgil, where the woman who had been singing, Ms. Langtree, was sort of sadly playing a slow tune on an old piano. “Here ma’am, play something like this.” He played something much bouncier on the top keys, although he didn’t know much about playing the piano, so it kind of sounded like a mess. Ms. Langtree started playing a pleasant, faster tune.

“Like this?” she said, looking slightly happier.

“Good enough,” said Roman with a smile. He then hopped up on the nearest table, grabbing a bottle labeled ‘molasses’ that had been sitting on top of the piano, and began to sing:

“~ _Oh, potatoes and molasses, if you want some, oh, just ask us, they're warm and soft like puppies and socks, filled with cream and candy rocks…_ ~”

He kept singing, hopping from table to table, pouring a bit of molasses on everyone’s potatoes, making them much happier. Even Logan and Virgil started to smile despite themselves. Virgil actually started to tap out a beat with his spoon when the entrance to the tent was flung open by a large man in a big coat.

“That’s enough!”

The man’s shout was loud enough to make Roman fall off the table with a thud, cutting off the song.

“Father!-“ said Ms. Langtree before being cut off by the man again.

“Is _this_ what I’ve been paying for?!”

“Hey, we just wanted to have a little fun!” said Roman, his head popping out from under the table as he was helped up by Patton.

“I didn’t invest in this circus for fun!” said the man. “This is a business, you don’t have time to be singing during lunch, you should be singing onstage!”

“We are!” said Ms. Langtree. “Oh, please, father, don't close the circus. It won't happen again!”

“I should say it won’t,” said her father. “The circus is now closed, send the children to bed.” With that he swept back out of the tent.

“You heard father,” said Ms. Langtree. The audience members filed out and Ms. Langtree lead the children, along with some people who were apparently performers out, and Logan and Virgil rejoined Patton and Roman just outside the tent, where it was now dark.

“That’s so sad,” said Patton looking after the children. “I wish there was something we could do.”

“Yes, it is unfortunate,” said Logan. “However, we have our own issues to deal with. Did either of you find any information on directions or Adelaide?”

“No,” said Roman. “We thought you guys were doing that.”

“Oh good,” said Virgil. “So, none of us got any information at all?” They a looked at each other, except for Patton, who was suddenly very interested in his shoes.

“Look,” said Roman, not having any idea what he was going to say next. Then there was a sudden movement behind Virgil’s judgmental stare and Roman spotted the lady’s father from earlier, skulking off into the trees. “Look! It’s that old man from before! Let’s go talk to him, we can ask for directions and about Adelaide and maybe tell him to stop being so mean and then save the day in the process.” He then walked off before anyone could stop him.

They all followed the man into the woods, and Virgil whispered, “so what’s the plan, Roman?”

“Plan?” Roman replied. “Oh. I don’t know.” Logan rolled his eyes and looked ready to reprimand him when the man they were following started to speak to himself, apparently unaware of their presence.

“Ohhhh, who would have thought that letting my daughter join the circus was a bad idea? Now I must run the school myself, and all the while that loathsome Jimmy Brown is off gallivanting who knows where, again! Not to mention that clown on the loose.” He sighed. “If only something would go right for a change.” The man took off his huge coat, which turned out to have been concealing his really very small body underneath it, propped it up with a stick like a small tent, and lay down and began snoring, evidently asleep.

Logan put his hands to his temples. “Nothing here makes any sense,” he said, tensely but quietly, as to not wake up the man. “But I- Roman, Patton, you saw the clown, right? It was chasing you?”

“Yeah, that was scary,” said Patton. “we should have stopped _clowning around_ , huh?” He smiled weakly.

“You needed not worry Padre,” said Roman. “I would have protected you from any danger.”

“Oh, shut up Mr. Hero,” said Virgil. “I saw that face you were making, you were terrified too.” Roman opened his mouth to protest but Virgil continued, “What did you want to know, Logan?”

“Thank you, Virgil. What I wanted to know was, did the clown have stage makeup on, or where they wearing a mask?” Logan asked.

“A mask, why?” said Roman.

“I think,” said Logan, with a puzzled expression, “That we need to remove it for him. Because-“

“Because it’s stuck?” said Roman suddenly.

“Yes.” Logan turned his puzzled expression towards Roman. “How did you know I was going to say that?”

“I don’t know,” said Roman, his expression now mirroring Logan's. “Why did you think it was stuck? Also,” he continued, “why are they a him now? Anyone could be under that thing.”

Patton looked worriedly between the three of them. “Hold on, I’m confused,” he said. “Are we going to try to find the clown? Why is the mask important?”

“I-“ Logan shook his head, like he was trying to clear it.

“Okay, Logan,” said Virgil, “let’s just focus on what we know for now. We know we should get the mask off the clown, so let’s do it. Roman, you said you weren’t scared of them, lead the way.”

“Hey!”

* * *

The old man woke up with a start. Bright sounding music was coming through the trees. He picked up his coat and followed the sound back to the circus. Now there was the sound of people talking and laughing, and in the center of the crowd stood Ms. Langtree and… Jimmy Brown?!

“Oh father!” said Ms. Langtree as she noticed him. “Isn’t it grand! Jimmy didn’t leave me after all!”

Jimmy spoke up, his face slightly red with embarrassment. “Well, you see, I managed to get myself stuck in a dang costume again, and people were too scared to help me out.”

“Except for these fine young gentlemen,” said Ms. Langtree, gesturing to the side. Now it was Patton’s turn to blush as she, Jimmy, and her father turned to look at him, Logan, Virgil, and Roman.

“No need to thank us!” said Roman magnanimously. “We simply saw people in need and did what we could.”

“Yes, we were happy to help,” Patton added.

“Oh, Jimmy,” said Ms. Langtree as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Darlin’,” Jimmy said in return, and the crowd cheered as they kissed.

The old man sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye. “I guess the world really is as sweet as potatoes and molasses.”

“I knew you were going to say that!” said Roman. “Come on, let’s celebrate this happy ending for a bit.” He pulled Patton out to dance to the music that had started up again, as Logan and Virgil flatly refused.

“You think we should get going?” asked Virgil.

Logan sighed. “No, let them have their fun. Besides,” he continued, “I could use some time to think.”

* * *

Janus and Remus followed the path out of Pottsfield, having been delayed by stepping on a few pumpkins, which had apparently angered the townsfolk. Janus had, however, been able to talk them out of the situation, as well as learn that their fellow sides had passed through and continued in the direction of, of all things, a circus.

“Hey J-anus,” Remus said as they walked. “Any of this stuff seeming familiar to you?”

“No.” Janus said flatly, walking further ahead. Remus shrugged, and a cold wind blew as they headed further out into the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're missing Janus and Remus don't worry, we'll get there


	4. Songs of the Dark Lantern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things start getting spooky

The cold wind blew its way past the circus tents and down the road, empty and quiet this late at night, and through the silent trees. The silence was broken by a horse and cart rushing past, and the driver yelling loudly, “The Beast is upon me!”

There was a rustling sound and a _shh!_ from the hay pile on the back of the cart that was lost in the noise of the cart rushing down the road. Inside the hay pile sat Logan, Roman, Virgil, and Patton, crouched so they all fit.

“Roman, is there a Beast out there?” said Virgil. Roman stuck his head out of the hay for a moment. “Anything?”

“Nah.” Roman replied. “That driver’s nuts.”

“ _The Beast is upon me!_ ”

“Mmm, nuts,” said Patton, rubbing his stomach.

“Well, that’s good,” said Virgil in response to Roman.

“Good?!” said Logan, raising his eyebrows. “Do any of you have the slightest idea where we are anymore? I’m still not completely sure why we found it necessary to hide in this person’s cart in the first place.”

“To be fair,” said Virgil, “we didn’t really know where we were before, either. Hopefully, this guy is going somewhere with lots of people we can ask for directions from. Those circus people were nice, but not very helpful.”

“Lots of the people we’ve met here have just been bananas,” said Roman, nodding in agreement.

“Ooh, banana nut bread,” Patton groaned, his stomach growling. Lightning flashed through the sky with a loud crack, visible even through the hay, and they all jumped and shouted in alarm. Roman began to fall backwards out of the cart, so he grabbed Virgil’s sleeve to stop himself, but this only caused Virgil to fall as well and suddenly they and quite a bit of hay all fell out of the cart and onto the dirt outside, and the horse and cart continued on without them.

“Well,” Logan stood and brushed himself off, shivering a bit, “Finally some good luck.” He pointed ahead of them where there was a small, two-story building, currently the only source of light in the darkness around them. “Let’s go to this tavern and ask for some directions.”

“But-” said Virgil. Lightning struck again, illuminating the building for a second, showing it to be rather old and run down. Its sign creaked in the wind. “But it’s creepy. Why don’t you guys go ask for directions, and I’ll just wait out- no, wait, I don’t want to be out here by myself. How about-“

Logan shivered again and this time so did Patton. “Why don’t Patton and I go inside,” and get warm, he thought, “and Patton can get something to eat. Roman, you stay out here with Virgil.”

“Oh good,” said Patton, “and Logan, you can ask for directions.” And I can get a little break, too, he thought.

“Fine, yes, I’ll do everything,” Logan muttered as the four of them headed for the tavern. Logan and Patton headed for the entrance, and Virgil and Roman moved to stand under a stable looking area, as it was starting to rain. Logan pushed on the door. It didn’t move.

“Go on, you can do it!” said Patton. He was also shivering a bit, but he pulled his cat hoodie around him like a cape.

“I-, it’s stuck,” said Logan, pushing harder. He shoved his shoulder against the door and it slowly opened. They looked around it to see that a large dog had been sitting in front of it and had let itself be pushed out of the way when the door opened. “Oh.”

“Oh, excuse us!” said Patton to the dog. Logan closed the door behind them. It was much warmer in the tavern than it was outside, thankfully, and there were quite a few people inside, sitting at various tables. They went to sit down at a table by a window. Some people were playing music and whistling on a small stage. “You wait here.” Patton got up almost as soon as he sat down, remembering why he had wanted to come in in the first place. “I’ll get some food.”

“Well, hey there, peach pot.” A person in a bonnet approached Logan as he sat alone at the table. “Watcha doing around-“ she was interrupted by a voice from the window.

“Hey, did you get directions yet?” It was Virgil’s voice, and Logan turned around to see Virgil and Roman looking in the window, Virgil leaning in and Roman just behind him. “It’s-“ this time Virgil was interrupted by a face full of straw as a broom hit him in the face.

“Hey!” said the person in the bonnet, raising her broom again. Logan leaned out of the way. “Outside or inside my tavern! You’re outside so stay outside!”

“What the heck, lady!” said Virgil, putting his hand up to avoid being hit again. “I was just-“ the broom came at him again and he ducked out of the way.

“What did I just say!”

“Curse you, lady!” said Virgil. “Curse you! You’ll die someday, and I’ll laugh, laugh!” with that he folded his arms and turned away from the window. Logan could hear muffled voices as Virgil presumably complained to Roman. The woman with the broom turned back to Logan, broom lowered but still in hand.

“Who are you anyway?” she said, as Patton came back from the bar, carrying several plates of food.

“I am Logan,” said Logan, “and this is Patton.”

“That’s great, but who are you?” said the lady.

“I’m… Logan,” he repeated. This did not seem to satisfy the woman, she seemed to be waiting for something else. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s the Butcher.” The woman pointed to a person at a different table, wearing what was presumably a butcher’s apron and holding a small axe.

“I’m the Butcher,” he said.

“… the Baker,” the lady pointed to another person in a baker’s hat.

“Yeah!” they said, raising their rolling pin.

“… the Midwife,” the midwife coughed. “… the Master and Apprentice,” the master pulled on the rope that was for some reason attached to the apprentice’s waist, “… the Tailor,” they grunted, “… and I’m the Tavern Keeper,” she finished. “Who are you?”

“Oh, I think I know what she’s asking!” said Patton. “I’m Morality!” He struck his best dad pose. “But you can just call me Dad!”

“Ah. I see,” said Logan, narrowing his eyes. “But that’s a little reductive, don’t you think? What does it matter what my… title? Label? What does it matter what it is?”

“Maybe he’s simple,” said one of the people.

“No!” Logan said, a bit louder than he meant to. “I’m just-“ he sighed. “We’re just lost. See, we’re trying to get to-“

“I’m the Highwayman.” A man with a mask and a black outfit spoke from the stage. The musicians had stopped played at some point, apparently.

“Okay, good to know.” Logan said after a moment. He turned back to the tavern keeper. “Anyway, so, you see-“

“I’m the Highwayman.” This time, the man continued into a song. Logan and Patton watched, confused as he sang for a few minutes in which everyone in the tavern was silent and watching this sudden performance. He finished up with “I’m the Highwayman, ~ _and I make ends meeeet,~_ ” and everyone in the tavern cheered, except for Logan, who was now thoroughly confused.

* * *

Outside, slightly earlier, Virgil turned away from the window, arms crossed. “She hit me in the face with a broom!”

Roman tried, unsuccessfully to hide a laugh behind his hand. “Yeah, I saw, Panic at the Everywhere. Sorry, I can’t protect you from tavern ladies with brooms.”

“What do you mean, protect me? I can take care of myself.”

“Oh really, Jack Smellington, who was the one who didn’t want to be out here alone, huh?”

“Who _would_ want to be outside this creepy place alone at night?”

“I would!” A familiar sounding voice interrupted them from behind the corner of the building, and a second later Remus popped out, soaking wet from the rain. “Are you guys gonna fight? Fight! Fight! Fight!”

“Remus?!” Roman said, surprised. His hand went to his sword and he adjusted himself so he was slightly between Virgil and Remus. “What are you doing here? Where’s the snake?”

“Well,” replied Remus, straightening up and shaking out his wet hair, “believe it or not, we were actually looking for you guys. No idea where Janny is at the moment, though, I think he went into the woods. Did you know that those tavern people don’t like it when you get black stuff all over the floor?” Virgil looked down and noticed that Remus’s boots were indeed covered in some sort of black sludge, among mud and other things. “They also didn’t really like when I told them that ole Jan Jan calls himself Deceit, they kicked us out after that. Then there was some spooky singing and- hey there it is again!” He stopped talking and Roman and Virgil turned towards the woods, listening.

“ _~ **La la la la** ~_”

“Who’s out there?” Virgil shouted into the trees.

“ _~ **Chop the wood to light the fire** ~_”

“What kind of person goes out chopping trees in the middle of a thunderstorm at night?” Roman asked.

“I would!” Roman and Virgil leapt into the air as Remus spoke from a millimeter behind them. Roman’s hand went to his sword again and Virgil took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “Aw, Virge, don’t you know yelling ‘who’s that’’s the worst thing to do in situations like these?” Remus leaned forward and shouted over their shoulders, “Hey, hey, come out of the woods spooky voice! Come and get u-” He was cut off as Roman shoved a hand over his mouth.

“Will you shut up?!” Remus made a muffled giggling noise. “Ew! Did you just lick me?”

* * *

After the highwayman finished his song, everyone had gone back to what they had been doing before, including the tavern keeper, so Logan looked around for someone else to ask. He spotting and older man who was alone at a table, painting a few small figurines. “Excuse me?” Logan asked.

“Huh?” The old man looked up from his painting.

“I was wondering if perhaps you knew anyone named Adelaide-“

“Oh, so it’s a girl you’re after, eh?”

“No! I mean, yes, I suppose, but-“

The old man chuckled. “Oh, you’re not the witless simple-minded fool everybody takes you for.”

Logan frowned. “Everyone thinks I’m-“

“You’re the young lover!”

“What? No, I’m-“

The old man interrupted him again, standing now. “If you really want to get with this Adelaide gal-“

This time Logan interrupted the man, trying to get a chance to speak. “I’m really not-“

But the old man was apparently determined. “Well, here’s what you do.” The band started playing again and Logan, seeing where this was going, thought he might have a better chance of getting directions if he asked literally anyone else and tried to back away, but the old man wrapped an arm around him and began to sing.

“ _~Write a loving letter, boy that swoops and sweeps and curls calligrapher's just the thing to help you win your girl~_ ”

He kept singing and Logan kept trying to get away, but unfortunately, just as before, the rest of the people in the tavern were gathering around to watch the song, effectively trapping him in it. He tried to get Patton’s attention, but Patton just smiled and gave him a thumbs up with a mouth full of food.

“~ _high, dee, diddly, um-de-dum-de-day, what a merry time we'll have upon your wedding day_ ~”

“What?!”

“~ _High, dee, diddly, um-de-dum-de-day, there's work for all when little boys get married_ ~”

The crowd laughed and Logan took his chance to speak.

“No, no, no, no, I am not getting married! I am just trying to find-“ but he was cut off yet again as the singing resumed.

“~ _That silly tie upon your chest, you can’t be wearing that…_ ~”

* * *

Outside, thunder rumbled in the distance and the rain began to slow down. Roman tried to wipe his hands off on Remus’s sleeve and Remus wiped some of the black sludge from his clothes onto Roman’s white outfit. Roman made an incomprehensible noise of frustration and leapt at Remus, who joined the fight with enthusiasm. Virgil skirted around them back to the window, keeping an eye out for the lady with the broom. He saw Patton sitting alone at the table.

“Oh, hey, Virgil!” said Patton, who was clapping along to the music. “Do you want some food, too? I have extra and Logan didn’t eat his.”

“No. How’s Logan doing getting directions?” Patton looked over and Virgil followed his gaze to the tavern people, who had lifted Logan up and were currently tossing him into the air, singing “~ _high, dee, diddly, um-de-dum-de-day, what a merry time we'll have upon your wedding day_ …~”

“I think it’s going well,” said Patton.

Virgil leaned back out of the window. Roman and Remus were still fighting, Remus somehow now covered in mud. Virgil could also still hear the faint singing coming from the woods. He could also see a light now, the Woodsman must be carrying a lantern or something. “What about that Woodsman?” he murmured to himself. “I bet he knows these woods better than anybody, huh? Maybe he knows where Adelaide is. Maybe he knows where _Janus_ is.” Virgil stepped around Roman and Remus and began slowly making his way towards the woods.

* * *

“Lover! Lover!” the crowd chanted.

Logan tried to compose himself as he was finally set back on the ground. “No! Adelaide is not-“

“Young lover, sing us your love song!”

“Love song?!”

Oh no.

“Yeah, lover! Sing us your love song!”

“No! I do not have a-“

But the people were pushing him towards the stage now, chanting “sing, lover, sing!”

He was dragged over to the stage. “No!”

“Sing, lover, sing!”

They pushed him onto it and he tripped, falling on his face.

“Sing, lover, SING!”

Logan picked himself up off the floor, attempting to un-red his face before turning to look at the crowd.

“SING, LOVER, SING!”

He did not want to sing. But, this would give him a chance to say something…

“SING, BOY, SING!”

“Okay! Fine!” Logan directed the person playing the drum to start a beat, and he began to speak to it.

“ _Please listen to our plea,_

_we're not from around here_

_Can you all give me_

_Some directions today?_

_So we can be on our way”_

“This ain’t no love song,” said the Butcher.

“It’s a metaphor,” said the Tailor, nearly crying.

“Keep it together, Tailor,” snapped the Tavern Keeper.

“Hey!” said the Master.

“Yes?” asked Logan. Perhaps he would actually get directions now.

“I know what you are. You’re a pilgrim!”

“What?”

Never mind.

“A Pilgrim! You’re a traveler on a sacred journey.”

“Yes,” Logan sighed. “I am aware of the definition. What I want is-“

“You’re the master of your own destiny!”

“The hero of your own story!”

“Tell us your feats, Pilgrim! What other challenges have you overcome?”

If only Roman were doing this, thought Logan.

“Regale us with your travels!”

Maybe I can tell them some of his things. Just then, however, Patton finally spoke up.

“Oh, Logan’s overcome lots of challenges! One time, he found out when someone was pretending to be me!”

The crowd cheered, lifting Logan into their arms again. Patton hadn’t been there when Janus had impersonated him, someone must have told him-

“And he helped me and Virgil get over our fears!” Well that wasn’t entirely accurate-

“More! Tell us more! We want to hear it!”

Logan tried to collect himself despite being held up in the air and finally spoke, trying to fill his voice with some sense of drama so that the townspeople might actually listen to him. “And, uh, we met this helpful Woodsman who told us which direction to go to avoid the _Beast_.” This was apparently the wrong thing to say, and Logan hit the ground with a thud as the crowd dropped him to the floor and gasped all together. “I see you all have heard of the Beast as well,” Logan said, picking himself up.

“We all know the Beast, Pilgrim,” said the Tavern Keeper. She began to sing, and Logan groaned internally. He wasn’t sure if he could take any more of these songs.

_"~He lurks out there in the unknown_

_Seeking those who are far from home_

_Hoping never to let you return”_

She started dancing around the tavern, making scary faces at whoever was nearest.

_“Ooh-ooh, better beware_

_Ooh-ooh, the beast is out there_

_Ooh-ooh, better be wise and_

_Don't believe his lies”_

She pulled a hair from the dog’s tail and lit it in one of the candles, watching it burn down as she held it up to her face.

_“For once your will begins to spoil_

_He'll turn you to a tree of oil_

_And use you in his lantern for_

_To burn~”_

She blew out the flame with finality.

“Lantern?” asked Patton. “What lantern?”

“The Beast is the bearer of the Dark Lantern,” said the Tavern Keeper.

“How dramatic,” said Logan. “But all that we really want here is directions. We are attempting to make our way to Adelaide, so that she can perhaps help us get home.”

“You don’t need directions Pilgrim,” said the Apprentice. “You follow that compass inside your heart.”

“No,” said Logan, “I think we need directions.”

Suddenly, there was a loud, panicked yell from outside.

“Oh no!” said Patton, rushing to the door. “That sounded like Virgil!” Logan and Patton ran outside to the cheers of the crowd, who were saying things like ‘go, Pilgrim!’ ‘you got it!’ and ‘never say die, never say die!” Outside, they ran into Roman and Remus, who had identical worried expressions on their faces.

“Remus?!” exclaimed Patton, half concerned and half relieved, but Logan didn’t have time to process as a low pitched howling came from the woods and Patton shouted “Virgil!” this time with Roman joining in as well. All four of them ran out into the darkness, not concerned with the cold wind whipping through the trees or even noticing that the thunder had stopped. They could see a light in the trees, and they followed it until they came upon a clearing with a large, red barked tree.

“Hey,” said Remus, pointing. “It’s another one of those trees with the faces and black stuff.” They looked to where he was pointing and sure enough, there did look to be a face in the bark, horribly stretched out with dark, sad eyes and a gaping mouth. To make things worse, it was lit from below, making it look even more ominous. Their eyes followed the source of the light to a large lantern sitting at the base of the tree, and, a second later, they noticed something else there. It was Virgil, looking especially pale in the lantern light. His eyes were closed, and he wasn’t moving.

“Virgil!” yelled Patton, he and Roman rushing to Virgil’s side. Patton frantically tried to feel for a heartbeat or a pulse, while Roman stood above them, his sword out and at the ready. It was at this moment that he noticed a humanoid figure standing just out of the lantern light, clutching a cane to his chest.

“You cowardly snake!” Roman nearly howled, and Janus reluctantly stepped into the light. “What have you done to Virgil!?”

“Nothing!” Janus put both of his hands up, putting his cane back into his cloak. “Truly! I- he must have followed me, is he alright?” He moved to step closer to Virgil, with what looked like genuine concern on his face, but he was blocked by Roman’s sword.

“Don’t touch him you-, you-,” Roman pointed his sword at Janus’s face. “I’m too upset to come up with a name terrible enough for you right now!”

“You’re looking kind of suspicious right now, Double D, not gonna lie,” said Remus, and Roman rounded on him.

“You’re just as bad!” he said. “What have you two been doing all by yourselves, huh? Have you been, I don’t know, colluding with this _Beast_ , like the villains you are?!”

“Well excuse me,” said Remus, “I’ll have you know I haven’t seen one single monster in this entire place and I am very disappointed because-“

Janus interjected with, “Roman, please, just let me explain, there are some things you need to know-“

He was interrupted, this time by Virgil, who groaned and shifted a bit, causing Patton to yell, “Virgil!” again, and nearly lift him up with a hug.

“Logan!” Roman ordered, eyes still on Janus and Remus, who were now standing together in the shadows. “Help Patton with Virgil, let’s get out of here. We can leave these villains in the dark where they belong!” Logan wanted to protest, but he saw the wild look in Roman’s eyes and decided it would be best to remove themselves from the situation and try to reason with him once he had calmed down. He put a reassuring hand on Patton’s shoulder, and Patton looked around with tears in his eyes, of worry or relief Logan could not tell. Together they carried Virgil back out of the woods, lead by Roman, leaving Janus and Remus alone with the lantern.

Remus flipped his mace. “So, JJ, you gonna tell me what’s actually going on here or keep it to yourself like you usually do?”

“I-,“ Janus looked conflicted for a moment, looking out where the others had disappeared. “It’s nothing. We need to follow them, we’ll hide if we have to, but we can’t lose them again.”

“Yeah here’s the thing,” said Remus, leaning over. “I suck at that. Hiding, that is. And for once I think they might actually be more mad at you than me, and I’d at least really like to know where you’ve been disappearing to, or I’ll take that lantern and ditch you in the dark.”

“ _No_!” yelled Janus, which Remus found confusing. He wasn’t being _that_ kind of intimidating right now. Janus smoothed out his cloak. “It’s not like I’m afraid of the dark or anything, but you _must not_ take that lantern.”

“ **He’s right, you know.** ” A loud, deep voice that sent chills up and down Remus’s spine came suddenly from the darkness behind them. It spoke again, this time directed at Janus. “ **Why the sudden violence, Deceit?** ”

“ _Shut up!_ ” said Janus harshly. “You know very well that that wasn’t me.”

“ **As you say.** ” The voice drifted slightly closer, and Remus caught the outline of a _huge_ shadow moving through the trees. Where those antlers? “ **Now, which way did they go?** ”

“Leave them alone!” Janus pulled out his cane. Remus readied his mace.

“Yeah, stick around!” said Remus with grin. “Talk some more, your voice is _amazing_.” In response there was only a deep laughter. A long-fingered shadow shot out of the trees and grabbed the lantern, swinging it away, making wild shadows in the trees.

“Beast!” Janus yelled. The Beast began to sing, walking further away, taking the light with it.

“~ ** _La la la la, la la la la, chop the wood to light the fire._** ~” Remus cackled and prepared to give chase, but he was yanked back. If Janus didn’t stop doing that he was going to get smacked with the mace. Remus turned and saw a furious look on Janus’s face, for once not directed at him, but at the retreating noise and lantern light of the Beast.

“We can’t follow him,” said Janus, still clutching Remus’s sleeve.

“Why not?” Remus whined, trying to pull himself away.

“Well, for one thing, it’s dangerous. For another, we need to find the others, like I said.” The Beast was getting further away. And, Remus supposed, so were Roman, Logan, Patton, and Virgil. “Please,” said Janus, a note of desperation creeping into his voice. “Just trust me.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “You do realize what your asking, right, Mr. Deception?”

Janus narrowed his eyes. That was much more familiar. “Look, just-, we all need to cross the river and they don’t know that yet, so come on, _now_ , before we lose them.” He let go of Remus’s sleeve, whirled around, and headed off out of the woods. Remus stood still for a moment. He looked towards the still retreating light and back towards Janus. He sighed, then picked up his mace and followed him.

* * *

Virgil groaned and shook his head. He opened his eyes and was immediately crushed by hug from Patton, at the same time being set gently on the ground. “Virgil!” said Patton, finally letting him go. “Kiddo, are you all right?”

Virgil blinked and rubbed his head. “Yeah, I think so.” He looked up. Patton was still leaning over him, and Logan and Roman were standing over both of them. Logan looked reservedly concerned, but Roman had his hand on his sword, looking very upset about something. “I just-, I thought I would go try to ask the Woodsman for directions this time because I thought I heard him singing in the woods, but when I got there I saw Janus,” Roman made an angry sound, “and he was talking to someone I think, and then I saw a weird shadow and stupidly ran into a tree and got knocked out.”

Roman looked surprised. “Wait, so, the reptilian rapscallion actually didn’t do anything to you?”

“No?” Virgil said. “I don’t think he even noticed I was there.”

“See?” said Logan. “I told you there was no actual evidence to show that Janus had done anything-“

“No evidence?!” Roman shouted. “He was the only one there and he was standing over the body! That says guilty to me!”

“Circumstantial evidence is not proof, Roman, and, might I remind you, we have still failed to get directions! We could have asked either Janus or Remus, but your consistent stubbornness-“

“How can we trust any information we might get from that liar? And why would Remus know anything, he’s just as much of an idiot as m-,” Roman halted mid rant. “I mean, he is not exactly one to remember any relevant information.”

“Oh, now, kiddo-,“ Patton started, but he was interrupted as two someones came out of the trees.

“If I might interject,” said Janus, holding up his hands. He gave a side glance to Remus, who reluctantly put his mace away. “I don’t know _at all_ where we ought to go next.” Virgil sat up and Roman pulled his sword out again, but Logan put a hand out and lowered the sword.

“ _Thank you_ ,” said Logan with a pointed look at Roman, who looked furious. “I think it would benefit all of us at this point to share what we know.”

“And maybe we can stick together from now on,” said Patton hopefully. “Right kiddos?”

“We’ll see,” Roman growled.

“Yes,” said Janus. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no! maybe at some point they will have to  
> talk  
> to each other!??!!?


	5. Mad Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some people actually talk to each other for a change

“Yes, tea! That's my trade! Quincy Endicott's health tea.”

“Your tea sounds good,” said Patton politely. All six of them were seated around a rather fancy table, that wasn’t even filled up, even with the seventh person, Quincy Endicott, sitting at the head.

“Ugh,” said Endicott. “Never touch the stuff myself.”

“Bleh. Me either,” said Remus, reaching across the table to grab more food off Roman’s plate.

“Ha ha! Yes!” Endicott continued, leaning back and putting his feet up on the table, sticking them into his food as he did so. “It's all for the money!” Patton wrinkled his nose a bit at that. “Yes, the money takes my mind off my troubles- the deep soul-crushing loneliness.” Oh dear, now he just felt bad. Endicott shivered. “Yes, the more money I make, the bigger my mansion gets, the more lost I feel.” He made a sad noise. “Why, this house is so big, I sometimes don't even know where, or who I am!” He laughed, all trace of sadness gone.

“Yes, well, I'm glad we, your nephews, were able to pay a visit,” said Janus looking around at the rest of them.

“Yeah, sure,” said Virgil, unconvincingly. He didn’t look very happy with their current circumstances, but Endicott didn’t seem to notice.

“Yes, what a- what a pleasure it is to have company- a perfect pleasure. A perfect pleasure, lads!” He jumped up onto the table and began to dance, and Patton quickly pulled his food out of the way. “A per- yes, yes. Yeah, yeah!”

“Yeah!” said Roman and Remus at the same time, and both of them moved to climb onto the table too, but Roman stopped himself when he saw Remus doing the same thing. Remus had no such reservations and leapt up onto the table, also starting to dance. “Ha ha!”

“Perfect pleasure, heather...” Endicott continued, devolving into saying nonsense, dancing along with Remus, stepping on food and breaking plates as they did so.

Logan leaned over to Janus. “Remind me again we why are pretending to be this man’s nephews.”

“We need money,” said Janus.

“Wait! We’re,” Patton leaned over and whispered like he was about to say a dirty word. “We’re _scamming_ him?”

Janus shrugged and glanced towards the ceiling. “I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.

“What?” said Virgil. “No way.”

“Why not?” said Janus.

“Because stealing’s wrong!” said Patton, sounding like a petulant child. Roman nodded enthusiastically.

Janus rolled his eyes. “If we’re going to Adelaide’s we need one cent.”

“Wait,” said Virgil, “only a cent?”

“Yes,” Janus continued. “We need one penny to take the ferry to Adelaide’s pasture.”

“Ha ha!” Endicott jumped off the table. Remus smashed a few more dishes and jumped off too. “Come everyone! Let us retire to the parlor and enjoy my unnecessary excess of wealth and luxury.”

“Well,” said Patton reluctantly. “Maybe he just has some loose change somewhere he wouldn’t mind us taking.”

They entered the parlor, which turned out to be a huge, beautifully decorated room. There were gold and white carved sidings in all corners and the walls were painted with intricate blue and gold designs. There was also quite a number of extravagantly decorated tables, chairs, couches and other furniture throughout the room. “Behold, nephews, the majesty of wealth!”

“Ooh!” said Roman, Patton, and Remus at the same time.

“What was that?!” said Endicott suddenly, whipping around.

“Oh no,” said Patton, “What’s wrong?”

“Yeah,” said Remus, as Janus took a fancily carved figurine of some sort out of his hands and set it back on the table. “Your forehead’s all sweaty and gross.”

“M-my nerves. My- my- my ner-,” Endicott chuckled nervously. “My nerves are a bust these days.”

“Oh dear, why?” said Patton, putting a comforting hand on Endicott’s shoulder.

He jumped and cleared his throat, saying, “Uh, yes, yes. maybe it would be- be good to- to talk to someone. well, y—” he cleared his throat again. “Actually, it all began one day when I was exploring my and my wife’s exceedingly large and labyrinthine manor here. It was then that I realized that I hadn’t _seen_ her in days.” He laughed, and Patton looked even more concerned. “Isn’t that funny? And I pressed on and I ended up in a wing that was lit in a rather sort of eer- eerie- eerie light. And then I- I saw a painting of the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and that’s when things took a rather strange turn. I realized that the portrait was in fact the spitting image of my wife. From that day on, I still have not seen her, and I began to wonder. She con- consumed my every thought and I wondered if I hadn’t fallen in love, ha ha, with a ghost.”

Logan looked over to Remus and Virgil, as he was sure they would both love this. Virgil did look interested, but Remus was now staring, mesmerized, an intricately carved green egg the size of him and Janus was pulling him back with the assistance of a few extra arms, hissing “ _It’s too big, get a grip!_ ”

“Oh, I must sound crazy, mustn’t I?” Endicott chuckled again. “Perhaps it’s time for you all to leave my treasure filled home-“

“No!” yelled Janus, distracting Remus with a smaller carved egg.

“Yeah,” said Patton, reassuringly patting Endicott’s shoulder. “maybe we can help you with your ghost problem.”

“Ghost?” said Remus, finally paying attention. “I want to see the ghost!”

“Ohh,” said Endicott mournfully, “How I long to see her just once again, as well, yes.”

Logan looked between Roman and Janus, who were standing as far away from each other as they could, and Patton and Remus, who had been avoiding even getting near each other. He doubted there was actually a ghost… He decided to take his opportunity. “How about we split up to search?” he suggested. “Patton and Remus, you go with, um, Uncle, Endicott to the painting, Virgil and I will search in the other direction, and Janus and Roman, you can stay here and search.”

“To the painting!” said Remus, his distractibility being unusually useful in the moment. Before anyone could protest Logan pushed the three of them out of the room and led Virgil with him in the opposite direction, leaving Roman and Janus alone.

They looked as each other sideways as they listened to Remus’s fading chant of “Ghost hunt! Ghost hunt!” Janus turned away and walked toward a vase, examined the inside of it, lifted it up, and tossed behind him onto the ground.

“Hey!” said Roman, marching over. “We’re supposed to be looking for loose change.”

“That’s what I’m-,” Janus knocked over another vase, which Roman caught on his fingertips, set back on the pedestal, and knocked over himself as he walked past and it shattered on the floor too. Roman glared. “Oops,” said Janus, not looking sorry at all and moving over to an armoire in the corner. “That’s what I’m doing.”

“Well,” said Roman, catching another vase as Janus tossed it over his shoulder again, “Let’s _try_ not to break any more-“

_TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP_

They both whipped around at the loud tapping noise and Janus hissed, “Endicott’s back, hide!” He grabbed Roman by the arm and dragged him into the armoire, slamming the door closed behind him.

* * *

“Is that the portrait?” asked Remus as they walked down the hallway.

“No,” Endicott replied.

“Is that the portrait?” Remus asked again as they passed another one.

“No,” Endicott replied again. “Look, w-w-why don’t I just tell you when we reach the portrait?”

“Okay,” said Patton, edging to Endicott’s other side, away from Remus, “what’s the matter, Mr. Endicott, you seem tense.”

“You know me well, nephew.” Patton looked a little guilty at that, but Endicott wiped his brow with a handkerchief and didn’t notice. “Yes, the truth is I’m frightened.”

“Of a ghost?” said Remus. “Ghosts are just floaty things.” He made a spooky face and made a ‘he’s crazy’ gesture at Patton over Endicott’s shoulder. Patton ignored him.

“Oh, no, no, no,” said Endicott. “Not afraid of the ghost. I mean I’m afraid of what-, what if I never had a wife? What if she died and I didn’t notice and it’s her ghost? Or what if none of it ever happened and- and there is no ghost?” Patton, whose eyes had been getting wider and wider the entire time Endicott was speaking, was about to say something himself but Endicott continued before he could- “Maybe the doctors were right. Come along boys! Back to the parlor!”

“Wait!” said Patton, desperately. “You can’t just- are you-“

“Yeah, no giving up now, old man!” said Remus. “It’s gotta be a ghost!”

Endicott wrung his handkerchief in his hands. “But h-how can you be so certain?”

“Because,” said Remus, bouncing his way down the hallway. “I really, really want to see a ghost. Really bad.”

* * *

It was very dark and cramped in the armoire and Roman did not appreciate it. Janus had his ear against the door. “Okay, I think they’re gone. Start searching for change.”

Roman tried to feel around for something and banged his elbow into the door. “Look for change in here? I can’t see anything.” He felt some coats hanging in front of him. “And I don’t think these coats have pockets.”

“Check the lining,” said Janus. He reached out one of his hands to feel for the coats and hit Roman’s face instead. Roman made a muffled noise of anger and he pulled his hand back immediately. “Maybe somebody sewed money into the fabric.”

“Sewing money into your clothes?” asked Roman, attempting to accidentally on purpose kick Janus in the leg for revenge but not succeeding. “Do people even do that?”

“Of course they do,” said Janus. “It’s an excellent way of misrepresenting how much money you have to any potential thieves.”

“Oh, and I bet you’d know.”

“Are you calling me a thief? I’m a liar, not a robber.”

“So you admit your crimes, then! And I bet you’ve stolen… things…” Roman paused, thinking of the time that he’d stolen Janus’s hat and not actually being able to recall anything that Janus had stolen. “Let’s just find some coins, all right? Open the door.”

Janus pushed on the door. “It’s stuck.”

“Liar!” Roman pushed on the door. It was stuck. It was pitch black but Roman swore he could see Janus smirking.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to spend some quality time together.”

“HELP!”

* * *

“Well,” said Virgil, following Logan down the hallway. “That was certainly… proactive.”

“Well,” Logan replied, walking slightly faster, “we don’t know how long it will take for us to find our way home, and if we are to be spending an extended amount of time together in doing that I thought that this would be an excellent opportunity for those of us most in conflict with each other to air out their grievances now, instead of sniping at each other indirectly for the entire time.”

“What if your brilliant plan backfires, though, huh?” said Virgil, matching Logan’s pace. “What if all they do is fight? What if there really is a ghost and it's not a nice one? Also, What if- wait a minute,” said Virgil, stopping suddenly. “What if Janus hurts Roman? What if Remus kills Patton for fun? What if they all kill each other and we’ll be alone and we’ll never get back-“

“Virgil,” said Logan, who hadn’t stopped initially but now had turned and walked back, holding Virgil by the shoulders. Virgil looked up at Logan with panic building in his eyes.

“Logan we have to go back we have to stop them-“ Virgil grabbed Logan’s arms and tried to pull him back in the direction they had come from, but Logan held him there.

“Virgil!” he said again, a little firmer this time.

“We have to go they could be in danger-“

“VIRGIL!”

“WHAT?!”

“ _Breath_ , Virgil, relax, you’re spiraling.” Virgil gripped Logan’s sleeves tightly, realizing that he was nearly hyperventilating. Logan winced and Virgil loosened his hold, but he still held on, closing his eyes and using the touch to ground himself as he followed the usual breathing pattern. _4, 7, 8… 4, 7, 8… 4, 7, 8…_

“Okay. Okay,” said Virgil, still breathing quickly but letting go once he was relaxed enough to speak.

“It really is okay,” said Logan. “While Janus and Remus are… intense, I do not believe that they would go so far as to cause permanent harm. We are… connected to each other, and Roman and Patton know this too. Harm to one of us would ultimately only hurt us all. Therefore, though there will certainly be arguing, I doubt anyone will be seriously hurt.” He gave a small smile. “I did think it through, you know.”

Virgil took another deep breath. He was still worried, but he had to admit, what Logan said made sense. “I can’t say I wouldn’t take the opportunity to deck Janus or Remus in the face if I had it though.” He considered for a moment. “Roman, too, sometimes, now that I think about it.”

Logan smiled despite himself. “Do you think you’re ready to continue?” he said. “I was thinking perhaps we might find an office or something and look for change in a desk.”

Virgil nodded and they began to walk down the hallway again. “I’m still going to keep worrying, though.”

“I know, Virgil.”

* * *

Patton, Remus, and Endicott entered what looked like a greenhouse, but they could hardly tell, as vines grew up and around every which way, covering most of the walls and even some of the ceiling. Endicott sniffed. “This is where I grow my camellia for testing new teas.” He sighed, relaxing a bit. So did Patton. “Perhaps we should savor the- the quiet tranquility of this- this place.”

There was about three seconds of silence.

“ _EEEEEE!!!_ ” Remus screeched.

“AAAHHH!!” screamed Patton in response, flailing and jumping behind Endicott, who had screamed as well. “Why did you do that?”

Remus shrugged. “Tranquility’s not really my thing.”

Patton nearly stomped his foot in anger but restrained himself to a sharp sigh. “I just-, _why_ , Remus?” He stepped out from behind Endicott. “I am just trying to help this poor man here and all you can do is- is-“

“Is what, Padre?” Remus stuck his tongue out. “Be myself? I told you, no reason for what I do, I just do it.” He got closer and Patton backed up. “What, still scared? Maybe you should try loosening up for a change, just do whatever, you know you want to.”

Patton straightened up nervously. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” said Remus, poking Patton in the chest, “Do what _you_ want, and who cares what anyone else thinks?” Patton looked shocked for a second, then tried to cover it up. “You’re angry with me right now, aren’t you?” Patton looked guilty. “I can tell, you’re much worse at hiding your feelings than old snake face. So, go ahead, tell me to stop.” He poked Patton again. “Yell at me, go on!” He pushed Patton with both hands and Patton stumbled backwards over a vine, tripping and falling onto the floor. “Come on!”

“But I don’t _want_ to yell at you!” Patton said from the floor. He took a deep breath and sat up. “But I do want you to stop it.” He looked at his shoes, then steeled himself and looked Remus in the eye. “I want you to stop pushing me around, and I want you to leave Mr. Endicott alone, and, and,” he took a deep breath, “if you have any nasty things to say I want you to keep them to yourself!”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Well then.” He held out a hand to help Patton off the floor. “I guess that’s better than nothing.” Patton took his hand, still looking a little surprised with himself, and Remus pulled him up so hard Patton almost fell over in the other direction. “Not gonna lie, I almost forgot about the old man though.” Patton gave him a look and Remus laughed.

_TAP TAP TAP SCREEEEECH_

“AAAAHHHH!!!” This time everyone screamed at the loud tapping noise, although Remus again more because everyone else was doing it rather than shock.

“Is it the ghost?!” Remus asked, bouncing excitedly.

“Ooohhh I can’t do it!” yelled Endicott, crouching away from the window the tapping had come from.

“No no no, don’t worry!” said Patton, kneeling by Endicott. “It’s just a bird, see?” he said, pointing to the window, where there was a silver peacock displaying its feathers.

“Oh, yes,” said Endicott, “o-one of my prize-winning roasting peacocks.”

“Roasting?” said Remus, licking his lips.

“ _Remus_ ,” said Patton, and Remus giggled but didn’t say anything else.

“Yes,” Endicott continued, “with all this love in my brain, I, uh, forgot to feed them.” His eyes widened. “It’s almost as though I’ve lost my mind!”

Patton looked even more concerned, but Remus spoke before he could, “We can look for that _after_ we find our ghost. Let’s goooo!”

Endicott laughed. “Yes, yes. Let’s go. Into the abyss, never to return.”

Remus and Endicott headed off, leaving Patton behind them. Patton threw his arms up as they walked away, mouthing _what_ where they couldn’t see. He looked nervously behind him, but, after a moment of indecision, ran to follow.

* * *

It had been silent in the armoire for a few minutes now. “Hey,” said Roman. “Are you still there?”

Janus sighed. “Yes, Roman, I’m still here.”

“Oh.” Roman paused, shifting a bit in the darkness. “So, um, did you really mean it when you called me the evil twin?”

Janus sighed again, heavier this time. Then he noticed a movement in the corner of the floor. “Hey, what’s that?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Hmm.” Janus leaned down. “There’s a breeze coming out of here.”

Roman leaned down too. “Oh, yeah!” he pushed on the wall, which turned out to be a small door that swung open. “A secret entrance!” Roman held the small door open, making a barely visible gesture in the dark for Janus to go first. _Like the gentleman I am_ , Roman thought. Janus went through and Roman followed him into what turned out to be a small, equally dark room. “So, about that evil twin question. Reveal your dark secrets, Bananaconda.”

“Hey,” said Janus, looking around. “How about you tell me your dark secrets instead.”

Roman stepped back. “My secrets are too secret.” He looked around as well. “Hey, look. Light.” He pointed at a small hole midway up the wall.

“Well now who’s avoiding the question?” said Janus.

“You.”

Janus narrowed his eyes, then sighed once more. “Fine.” He turned to Roman, pulling his left glove off and holding up his hand. “I admit I was upset when I said that. You and your brother are equally annoying, for different reasons.” Roman opened his mouth in protest but Janus continued. “You are not evil, Roman. But neither is Remus. _But_ ,” said Janus as Roman looked about to protest again, “although you two certainly have your similarities, you are not your brother.” He paused, putting his glove back on, but he couldn’t help himself from adding, “You don’t need to worry about that sort of comparison from _me_.” He looked Roman in the eye. “Happy? Now you go.”

“Oh,” said Roman. He hadn’t been expecting… any of that. “That was… nice of you.” _Nice is different than good_ , though, he sang in his head. But Janus had answered his question, he supposed. He sighed. “All right. My turn, huh?” He fiddled with his sash. “Well, it’s weird to admit it, but, well, I-,” he spoke as fast as he could before he changed his mind, “I vent to myself in the mind palace theater sometimes.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Janus, messing around with the place the light was coming from, waiting for more.

“That’s all.”

“That’s all?” said Janus incredulously.

Roman yanked on his sash self-consciously. “And I rehearse scenes there, and practice-“

“Roman, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“And I secretly make up new poetry and recite it dramatically when everyone else is sleeping!”

“Roman,” said Janus with exasperation. “You do half of that in front of everyone anyway! That’s just- who you are.” He fiddled with the wall a small passage swung open in this one too. He climbed out of what turned out to be the fireplace of another room. “Don’t you have any more interesting secrets?” He held out a hand to help Roman out.

Roman took it after a moment of hesitation. “I don’t know.” He looked around. “Uh, hey. Does this room look different to you?”

Janus frowned but didn’t push it. “How so?”

Roman pointed to the decorations and the wallpaper. “It’s like French rococo style. That doesn’t really seem in line with Endicott’s Georgian sensibilities.”

“How- what?” said Janus. “Who on earth am I talking to right now?”

Roman smiled a little. “Should I not know that sort of stuff?”

Janus returned it with a smirk, then looked where Roman had pointed, thinking. “Perhaps Endicott simply built it without thinking?”

“Or,” said Roman, and Janus could practically see the gears turning in his head, “What if the ghost he was talking about was actually…” They looked at each other with identical expressions of realization on their faces and ran out of the room.

* * *

Logan and Virgil had found several office looking rooms by this point, but none of them had coins in any of the drawers, and most of them didn’t even seem used at all, with the amount of dust covering them. “So,” said Virgil as he dumped out yet another dusty drawer, “if Janus and Roman needed to talk and so did Remus and Patton, what about us then?”

“What about us?” said Logan, pulling open a drawer, looking through to the back, and closing it again.

“Well I’m not particularly annoyed with you at the moment, so unless there’s something you’re not telling me?” Virgil kicked the last upended drawer out of the way and headed for the door.

“Oh,” said Logan as they moved to the next room. “You want to know why we are together, or if I had any grievances to air, correct?”

“Yeah, basically.”

Logan adjusted his glasses. “Not particularly. I just thought that it would be unwise to wander the house alone.”

“Fair enough,” said Virgil. He thought for a moment. “What do you think Janus was doing out in the woods by himself? Don’t you think we should ask him about that?”

“Indeed we should,” said Logan. “I would also like to know who it was that you heard singing, since none of us saw the Woodsman anywhere at all, and that certainly wasn’t Janus or Remus’s voice.” They moved on to the next room. “I have several theories and none of them are good. And I-“ he frowned. “I keep coming back to the _familiarity_ of this place, the things we’ve done, even this house, and Endicott-”

“I know,” said Virgil, frowning as well. “I feel it too, but I can’t explain it. Every time I try, I just-“ he grasped at the air with his hands, trying to think of the right words.

“It’s like the thought is inaccessible for some reason,” said Logan, and Virgil nodded. Logan looked around the room they were in. “Like right now! The décor in here is far more French rococo style than the more Georgian style of the part of the house we came from, and that’s _familiar_ for a reason I just can’t place!”

Virgil blinked at Logan. “Well, I have no idea what you just said, but I have been thinking about Endicott and his maybe ghost wife. You said Remus wouldn’t hurt Patton because we’re connected to each other, but Endicott’s not. And with some of the things he was saying before… I’m feeling like we shouldn’t leave them alone for too much longer.”

Logan looked up, the feeling of familiarity striking him again. “I think you’re right but-“ he tried to think of why but lost it. “Let’s just go.”

* * *

Remus and Patton followed Endicott into another room, Patton making various worried noises as they went. “This is the room where,” said Endicott, pausing and look up, “the room where I first saw her.”

“Whoa!” said Remus, pushing past him, hoping to see something scary. “Just a bedroom?” he whined, upon not seeing a single ghost in the empty room. It was a large, mostly blue room, with a four-poster bed and a large portrait on the wall.

“Just a bedroom, my nephew?” said Endicott, now gazing up at the portrait, which was of a woman in a flowing blue dress. “This is the chamber of mine own true love, and here she stands, hovering above us like the blinding sun.”

“Hmm,” said Remus, jumping onto the bed and giving it an experimental bounce. “No ghost?”

“No ghost?” said Endicott, a serious expression on his face now. “Then I am… mad.”

“Oh no, don’t be mad!” said Patton. “Everything’s fine, I’m sure there’s a perfectly innocent explanation!”

Endicott narrowed his eyes and Patton stepped back. “What are you implying, my dear nephew?”

“Nothing, nothing!” Patton put his hands up in a placating gesture. “I just-“

“Well if you won’t say it I will,” said Remus, bouncing up and down on the bed with a crazed smile. “Endicott is a crazed lunatic who did away with the lady of the house and is now pretending to own the place!” He laughed, rolling off the bed and heading for Endicott.

“What?!” Endicott’s expression was becoming crazed as well, and Patton looked torn between stepping between them and running for it. “Who do you think you are, making these accusa- I see it now, you’re after my money! Do you know what I did for this money, t-the things these filthy hands have done to make this money?!”

Patton panicked and threw his hands over his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “I’ll never steal again, I swear!”

Endicott faced Remus. “And what say you, nephew?” Remus grinned widely and reached for his mace. Just then, there was what sounded like ghostly wailing from the doorway and Remus was immediately distracted. Endicott, however, screamed and yelled, “she comes for me!” and tried to run from the door.

“Wait!” yelled Patton, uncovering his face. “Face your fears!” Instead, Endicott gasped and fainted, and the familiar looking woman who had just arrived in the doorway gasped and fainted as well.

Patton rushed over to Endicott and laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking it gently. “Mr. Endicott! Are you all right?”

Remus, meanwhile, was poking the woman in the face with his mace. “Psst! Ghost!” The woman woke up with a start and pushed herself away from the mace just as Endicott awoke as well, and they stared at each other in shock.

Just then, Janus, Roman, Virgil, and Logan arrived, crowding in the doorway and nearly trampling the woman. They all began speaking at once.

“Endicott is a liar!”

“I’ll save you, Patton!”

“Watch out!”

“I knew it!”

“What’s going on?”

“Are you seriously telling me there’s no ghost _at all_?”

* * *

After a series of explanations, they learned that the woman, Marguerite Grey, was, in fact, Endicott’s wife, and all that had happened was that both of them had gotten lost in the huge mansion they shared and had simply been unable to find each other.

A bit later, outside the mansion, the couple looked at the group of them gratefully. “Well, nephews,” said Endicott. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me to face my fears and reunite me with my dear wife.” Marguerite nodded happily. “You’re sweet boys with good sense. Here,” he said, handing Patton a single penny. “Take this penny and start your fortune.”

“Hey, nice,” said Roman. “Now we can ride the ferry. Well,” he continued, posing dramatically, “I think it’s time we head to Adelaide of the Pasture, the Good Woman of the Woods, as Janus said.” He gave a little nod to Janus, and Virgil noticed a complicated expression on Janus’s face as Roman turned away.

“All right,” said Endicott. “Off you go, the lot of you.” Everyone said their goodbyes, and they headed off for the ferry, Roman in the lead with a confident smile and Janus last, trailing behind with a guilty look on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do they only need one?


	6. Lullaby in Frogland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to Adelaide, to Adelaide

A steam whistle blew as the ferry set off from the dock. Patton was having an excellent time introducing himself to all the frog families riding the ferry with them, telling them how he was a frog once and receiving several confused looks in return.

Roman was bopping to the band that was playing, also made entirely of frogs, and trying to get Virgil or Logan to dance with him. Neither of them was having it.

Remus was spinning around in circles and knocking several frogs over as he did so, then noticed that Roman was having no luck getting people to dance, so he walked over, grabbed his arms and started spinning the both of them at top speed, knocking more frogs out of the way. Roman pulled them over to where there were less people, but then spun just as enthusiastically.

Janus was leaning over the edge of the boat, staring out over the water.

Virgil leaned back against the edge next to him, putting his elbows on the side as Logan moved to stop Roman and Remus from knocking a frog off the ferry. Virgil spoke. “Isn’t this a nice way to spend our last day? Going to Adelaide’s house?” Janus nodded, still staring at the water. “Pretty soon we’ll be back home. We won’t have to worry about that Woodsman or that Beast or whatever, and you won’t have to put up with us anymore.” Janus didn’t react. “Bet you’re pretty happy, huh, Janus?”

“Yes. Of course,” Janus answered, still not looking up. Virgil frowned.

“Something wrong?”

Janus finally jerked out of his reverie and looked up at Virgil. “No. I was just thinking.”

“Hmm.”

Roman and Remus had started singing, and Patton and several frog children who were now following him were clapping along.

“~ _Oh, we're going to the pasture to meet Adelaide and ask her if she has a way to send us back where we came from…_ ~”

Logan listened to the song, confused.

“~ _…Adelaide, to Adelaide, we're going to Adelaide's house today!~_ ”

They finished their song and took a bow, receiving applause from Patton and the frogs that had gathered to watch.

Patton sighed happily. “Boy. We’re finally going home. Together.”

Logan walked up to Roman and Remus, who looked like they were about to start spinning around again. “Roman, if I might ask, where did that song come from? I could swear I’ve heard it somewhere before.”

Remus answered instead. “Oh, yeah, me too! That Woodsman was singing it! Or I guess it wasn’t the Woodsman, I think it was that Beast guy. He has a _great_ singing voice,” said Remus, holding his mace like it was a flower and staring up to the sky with a dreamy expression on his face.

Roman looked at his brother with a mixture of disgust and confusion. “You know what, I think Dukey here might actually be right.” Remus raised his eyebrows suggestively and Roman held up his hand. “ _Not_ about the singing voice thing, calm down.” He looked at Logan. “Right before we found the circus, we heard someone singing, remember? That’s why we started asking about Adelaide in the first place.”

“Always follow directions from mysterious singing voices in the woods,” said Remus seriously. “I love this plan, let’s go!” he continued, flinging out his arms, hitting a nearby frog in the face and knocking it straight into the river. Immediately, a whistle blew and Roman and Remus turned to see three frogs in police uniforms, one in a constable cap, blowing the whistle and heading straight for them.

“Oh no,” said Logan, who had been standing a decent distance from Roman and Remus to begin with but now back up to stand next to Patton, who had reached out to try to catch the falling frog even though he had been several feet away.

“Take him, not me!” yelled Roman, pushing Remus toward the police frogs, but Remus just laughed and grabbed Roman’s arm and ran for it, dragging him behind. “AAAAHHH!!!” They ran right past the police frogs towards the inside of the ferry, Remus cackling the whole way. They ran straight through a group of gossiping frogs, bowling them over. “Sorry!” yelled Roman as they kept going. They ran through the cabin of the ship, past a frog in a captain’s hat. The captain frog blew the boat’s whistle and Remus screeched at the same pitch and kept running. Roman paused to salute the captain and followed after, and the police frogs did the same, blowing their whistle again. They came out of the cabin and ran right into a parent frog holding a bunch of tadpoles, scattering them all over the ground. “Your babies!” Roman tried to pick them up but the whistle blew again, and the police frogs came out of the cabin, pointing and charging, and Remus pulled Roman quickly around a corner and into a closet. Remus shut the door and covered Roman’s mouth and they listened to the police frogs run past.

“Aaah!” said Remus with a smile. “Licking won’t work on me!” Roman shoved him away and they both collapsed against the inside of the closet.

“I’m getting kind of sick of being stuck in closets with dark sides,” Roman grumbled.

“Ah, you know you love me,” said Remus. Roman made a face and Remus laughed again, and finally so did Roman.

“Bitch.”

“Hoe.”

Roman smiled and leaned his head against the door. “Okay,” he said. “I think they’re gone. We’re good.” He opened the door and looked out. “I don’t see them, but I don’t know what we’re gonna do, we don’t exactly blend in on this ship.”

Remus clapped a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, brother o’ mine.” He grinned. “I do.”

* * *

Patton was sitting on the deck and nervously bouncing a frog child in his lap. “Logan, are Roman and Remus going to get arrested and go to frog jail?”

Logan rubbed his face with his hand. “I don’t know Patton. The whole thing is ridiculous.”

“Well,” said Virgil. “They did knock a frog off the boat.” Patton turned wide, watery eyes toward Virgil. “Oh, uh, but I’m sure they’re fine, frogs are amphibious, they can swim.”

“Roman and Remus will be just fine, Patton,” Janus said, rolling his eyes. “But Virgil has a point, they’re frog criminals now,” he held up his hands with mock shock, “whatever will they do?!”

Patton still looked distressed, but any further conversation was cut off as a small band of frogs came out onto a little stage near the boats cabin, two frogs near the back in strangely familiar green and red costumes. “Oh _no_ ,” said Logan. “What do they think they’re doing?”

Virgil stifled a laugh as he realized, and Janus laughed out loud. They could hear, even from as far away as they were, muffled whispering from both colorful frogs. Remus had somehow gotten his head stuck inside a drum and Roman had the soft tipped drumstick and looked to be reluctantly drumming Remus in the face while the band warmed up. Then Remus, apparently unsatisfied with Romans drumming, took the drumstick from him and flung it outward, knocking over a frog with a rather nice suit. It fell off the stage and tripped over one of the previously dropped tadpoles and slipped off the edge of the boat and into the river. The crowd of frogs that had gathered when the band had arrived began croaking angrily at the fact that the band’s singer had apparently been knocked off the boat.

They got louder and louder and Roman, clearly panicking, shoved his way to the front of the band and began to sing.

“~ _At night when the lake is a mirror_ …~”

“What?” said Logan.

“Whoa!” said Patton.

“~ _And the moon rides the waves to the shore…_ ~”

Roman continued to sing and Remus continued to drum himself in the face, and several frogs formed couples and began to slow dance.

“Wow,” said Virgil.

“Yeah, wow!” said Patton, far more enthusiastically. “They can’t send them to frog jail after this!”

Logan stared in disbelief, and eventually threw his arms up in exasperation. “I guess!”

Janus, however, looked pensive again. “Then we’re still on track to get to Adelaide’s, I suppose.”

“You don’t seem thrilled,” said Virgil.

“I,” Janus fumbled for a moment, “I don’t want- never mind. Never mind.”

Virgil turned with suspicion, but whatever he wanted to say was lost as just then, Roman, apparently lost in the music, spun around and lifted his arm dramatically, turning back into himself.

“~ _Carries their memory-,_ ~”

He halted as the band stopped suddenly. Roman opened his eyes and looked down, realizing that he was himself again. The police constable frog blew his whistle again and Roman cringed away, getting ready to run again, when, to his surprise, several frogs in the crowd went, “ _Shh!_ ”

“Uuumm…” Roman cleared his throat, straightening up, and slowly began singing again.

“~ _Over the treetops and mountains, over the blackened ravines, then softly it falls by a house near a stream and over the garden wall, to thee._ ~”

The frogs croaked their appreciation and Patton clapped enthusiastically. Virgil clapped less enthusiastically, but nudged Janus and Logan and they reluctantly applauded as well. Roman bowed, and Remus turned back into himself, which ripped the drum off his head, and bowed as well. Roman pulled the remains of the drum off Remus’s head and they bowed once more, together this time, just as the ferry’s steam whistle blew to signal that they had arrived at their destination.

The ferry slowed to a stop and the frogs started leaping off, directly into the mud on the riverbank. “What are they doing?” said Patton, and the frog child he had been holding leapt out of his arms and into the mud.

“Looks like they’re…” Logan pondered his word choice, “hibernating in the mud.”

“So,” Virgil turned to Janus. “Where’s Adelaide’s house? Is it close?”

“It’s,” Janus paused, and Virgil thought he saw guilt again before Janus composed himself. “We should probably just go tomorrow, I think.” He turned away to make his way down the ramp leading to the shore. “We don’t want to bother her too late, you know?”

“What are we supposed to do?” said Virgil. It was getting dark, but, “just sit around in the mud with these frogs?”

“Ha ha, yeah!” said Remus from right behind them, him and Roman having finally disentangled themselves from a group of grateful frogs. “I call that mud over there!” Remus threw himself directly into a mud puddle, splashing it everywhere.

* * *

A small fire crackled in the dark, made, after a decent amount of effort and time, by Logan and Patton, Patton gathering sticks and Logan actually starting it with two pieces of wood. At one point when it seemed like the fire was not going to start, Remus had suggested that they attempt to summon hellfire by sinning in the proximity of the fire, but Roman hit him in the face with a bit of mud. Remus threw it back in Roman’s face with a screech, and Roman declared revenge, which started a scuffle that covered the both of them in mud. Logan shivered and scooted as close to the fire as he could.

“Oh, Logan!” said Patton. He took his hoodie off his shoulders and tried to put it over Logan’s head. “You should have said something, aren’t you cold?”

Logan held Patton off, and upon touching his arms realized that Patton was freezing. “Wait, wait,” he said, pushing the hoodie back to Patton. “This is yours, you wear it, you’re shivering too.”

“But- I-“ Patton tried to think of what to say. “But, _you’re_ cold!”

“Jump in the mud!” said Remus, attempting to put a clump of it on Logan’s arm. “It’s nice and warm!” a bit of mud hit him in the head from behind and he turned back around to restart the mud fight with a vengeance.

“It’s all right,” Janus sighed, taking off his caplet. “I’ll be warm enough without this,” he said, wrapping the cape around Logan’s shoulders and joining them near the fire.

Logan pulled it around himself gratefully. It was surprisingly warm. “Thank you, Janus.”

“It’s not a problem.” There was a few moments of silence except for Roman and Remus rolling around in the mud. “Someone should probably tell them to stop,” Janus continued, staring into the fire.

“Good idea, Janus!” Patton flung on his hoodie and headed over. He persuaded them to stop their fight, telling Roman it was bedtime and bribing Remus by telling him he could eat a _small_ amount of mud if he joined them by the fire. Patton looked around at all of his boys. Virgil had put up his hood and was attempting to get comfortable on the ground. Roman had finished wiping the mud off his clothes as much as he could and had taken off his sash to use as a pillow. Logan was trying to use a log. Remus saw them all lying apart from each other, grabbed Roman by the back of his shirt and Virgil by the hood and dragged them over to Logan, making a pile. He lay down, and immediately started snoring. They protested a bit, but eventually relaxed into the warmth. “ _Oh my gooooosh,_ ” Patton whispered, and rushed over to join them. He looked over at Janus, who was still staring at the fire, and held out his hand with a small smile.

Janus returned it, but didn’t move. “It’s alright, Patton. I think I’m going to stay up for a while.”

Patton yawned and put his hand down. “Okay kiddo.” He closed his eyes. “We’ll be here when you’re ready.” He curled into the rest of his kiddos and slowly went to sleep.

Janus waited until he was certain that no one else was awake. The fire was nearly gone, just embers now. He stood, careful not to make a sound, and walked off into the trees.

After a moment, Virgil, who hadn’t fallen asleep at all, gently extracted himself from the sleeping pile and hurried after Janus. He kept to the shadows, staying a ways back so Janus didn’t see him.

They walked for a while, and a fog began to roll in, and Virgil had to get closer in order not to lose Janus. Eventually they came upon a small cottage, and Janus went inside, and after a moment a light came on in the window.

Janus went into the cottage. It was small, with only one room, and a lot of it was filled with multicolored string hanging from seemingly everywhere. As soon as he stepped in, the harsh, raspy, voice of an old woman came from the bed. “Close the door!” She coughed, sitting up. “That fresh air does simply gruesome things to my tender, delicate skin.”

“And you must be Adelaide,” said Janus, summoning his usual calm exterior, which was difficult, as he was tired, and the cottage did not exactly inspire a sense of confidence or safety.

“Ah, yes,” said the old woman, rising from the bed. “You must be one of the visitors the Beast promised me would come.” She smiled, showing far too many teeth for Janus’s liking.

* * *

Outside, Virgil was debating what to do. What was this place? Was it Adelaide’s? Was Janus in danger? Did he care?

“Watcha doin’, emo?”

Virgil jumped about three feet in the air at the voice from right next to his ear. “ _Remus!_ ” he hissed, his voice distorting for a second. “If you do that again I _will_ punch you in the face!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Remus, waving his hands. “So, what’s happening? Discovered all of snea snake’s secrets yet?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right, as if.” He looked back toward the cottage. The light was still on, it didn’t look like anything was happening… “I think he’s being stupid again, but-“

“Well let’s go find out!” said Remus, vaulting himself over a bush and heading for the cottage door.

“I don’t know if that’s-“ Virgil shook his head and ran after Remus. At least they weren’t running in completely alone.

* * *

“Rumor has it that you can help souls lost in these woods,” said Janus, forcing himself to appear relaxed as Adelaide came closer.

“Oh yes,” she said. “Help you.”

“What makes you think I’m the one who’s lost?” said Janus. She knew, or guessed, that wasn’t a good sign.

“Oh, it’s written all over your face, dear,” she said, still grinning. She coughed again. “Even if it wasn’t, the Beast of eternal darkness tells me all, and I follow his every command.” Just then, the door was kicked open forcefully by Remus, and he and Virgil rushed in. Janus only had time to look shocked before- “as you three soon will as well.” Adelaide reached up and pulled on one of the many strings, and suddenly the three of them fell to the ground with a thud as they were bound up from feet to shoulders so tightly in them that they could barely move. “Now you’re mine!” she cackled. “I was told there would be six, but three will do. And once I fill your heads with wool, you’ll become just like little sheep and do whatever I say.”

“Janus, what did you do?!” Virgil yelled, turning around as much as he could to look at him.

“Oh, yes,” said Janus, twisting in the ropes. “This all went perfectly according to plan, this is exactly what I wanted.” The sarcasm was still present in his voice, but the pretend confidence he had had before was gone.

“That’s not what I meant,” said Virgil. He tried to move his arms or legs but found that he couldn’t. Remus had some of the string that he could reach in his mouth, trying to tear it with his teeth, but it wasn’t doing anything. “For once all I’m accusing you of is being an _idiot_ , although I’m sure you were keeping things from us as usual.” Adelaide was walking over to a drawer and pulling out a sewing needle and a basket full of what was presumably wool. Virgil kicked again. “If you had even an idea that this old witch was dangerous, why on earth would you come here alone?!”

Janus tried to take a deep breath, but it was difficult since he was wrapped up so tightly. “I-,” he tried to maintain his composure, but Adelaide was advancing and he was tired and he didn’t know what to _do_ \- “I didn’t want to put the rest of you in danger!” he was nearly wailing but he couldn’t stop. “I’m sorry! This was stupid, I was stupid!” Adelaide rolled him over with her foot to face her, and began to lean down, the needle in her hand glimmering menacingly.

“You dumb fuck!” snarled Remus, finally giving up on trying to bite the ropes. “Think about someone other than yourself for a change. We don’t want you to leave us out because you don’t think we can handle more information.”

“Or not listen to us because you think you’re so much smarter,” said Virgil.

Adelaide cackled again. “My word, you dears have issues.” She leaned closer to Janus’s face. He was breathing very fast now. “Don’t worry.” She poked Janus’s nose with her needle, and it scraped against his scales. “The wool will take all of that away.”

“Oh, we definitely have issues,” said Remus, twisting over and smiling darkly.

Virgil smiled as well, realizing Remus’s plan. “But we won’t let you hurt any of us.”

Adelaide turned, surprised at their sudden calm. She looked back to Janus, who was now smiling too, even wider, with sharp teeth showing on the snake side of his face. “What is it?” Janus sneered. “Afraid of the dark?”

Outside the cottage, screaming and several loud thuds could be heard, as well as scraping and tearing noises, and the shadows of tentacles and huge spider legs could be seen through the window, and then there was darkness and silence.

* * *

Patton woke with a start. He wasn’t sure what had woken him. He reached out for the others around him and realized- “Janus? Remus? _Virgil_?!” Patton’s panicked yelling woke Logan and Roman.

“Wuzzgoinon?” said Roman, blinking his eyes open.

Logan fell on the ground as Roman sat up. “Ow! Patton? What’s happening,” He rubbed his eyes and sat up as well. “Are you alright?”

“Where-“ Patton swung his arms all around him in the dirt, as if their missing members were simply invisible and he could find them if he just looked hard enough. “They’re _gone_!”

Logan and Roman looked around. The forest was now full of fog, but the sky seemed to be lightening, and Janus, Remus, and Virgil, were nowhere in sight.

“How could-, they can’t-,” Patton grabbed Logan and Roman. “We have to _find_ them!”

Logan took Patton’s hand and gently removed it from his shirt, taking his other one from Roman’s as he did so. “Okay, Patton. It’s okay. We’ll find them.”

Roman replaced his sash. “Of course we will, don’t worry Patton. I’m ready, let’s go.”

Patton wrapped his arms around himself. “Will we? I mean,” he looked down. “I was just _so_ sure that we were going to all stay together for real this time.”

Logan sighed. “Well, who ever knows what to expect from them. Don’t worry Patton, we will find them eventually.”

“Yes,” said Roman. “I understand, Patton.” He looked down as well. “I was hoping… well, they probably just kidnapped Virgil or something. Don’t worry, we’ll drag them back with us if we have to.”

Logan and Roman headed off. Patton followed after a moment, still hugging himself. “Yeah. Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so Janus was totally going to throw everybody to the wolves with Adelaide, first he thought she really was helpful, so he was just going to get himself and his dark side bois out, then he thought she probably was at least a little dangerous so he was just going to toss the light sides in there and not help for a "fun and wholesome prank" and then he felt guilty and did not do that


	7. The Ringing of the Bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh dear, separated again

Thunder rumbled in the sky, and there was a light rain coming down. Patton was in front, walking slowly, arms around himself and hood up, and Logan and Roman were falling behind, arguing.

“Well where do _you_ think they went?” asked Roman, crossing his arms and hunching away from the rain.

“I think,” said Logan, “that they went ahead to Adelaide’s and she wasn’t what we thought.” He was using Janus’s cape as a sort of umbrella.

“Of course this would be the snake’s fault,” Roman grumbled.

“I didn’t say that,” said Logan. “I’m sure he knew more than he was letting on, but I don’t think he would really lead us all into danger on purpose.”

“Oh really,” Roman snapped back. “Because I wouldn’t put it past him or Remus to do exactly that!”

“Please stop,” said Patton, but he was facing away, and neither of them heard.

“Don’t jump to conclusions, Roman.”

“It’s too late, I’ve already jumped! I’m jumping! I’ve landed!”

“STOP!” Patton yelled, startling even himself a little bit.

“Hey,” said Roman. “I know we’re all a little stressed right now, but there’s no need to shout.” Logan nodded in agreement.

“You’ve been shouting,” said Patton, without turning around. He sighed heavily. “Let’s just… walk in silence for a while.”

* * *

“What are we doing?” said Remus as they walked through the rain. They hadn’t been able to find Patton, Roman, or Logan anywhere after they had returned from Adelaide’s cottage.

“We’re walking, Remus,” said Janus, holding his hat down with both hands and wishing he had his cloak.

“But where?”

“A place to wait out this rain.”

“And,” said Virgil, “hopefully somewhere we can ask about everyone else.”

“Oh.” Remus said, swinging his mace back and forth. “Why didn’t we just wait for them to come back?”

“Do you really think they would?” asked Janus derisively. “The probably think we abandoned them.”

“Hmm,” said Remus. “Well I’m glad you have a plan then.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes. “Hey, Janus.”

“What.”

“So, what’s the plan, because you’re not saying any details so-“

“Okay, look,” said Janus, stopping and turning around. “I don’t have a plan, okay? I’m just trying to get us all out of here. And if you don’t trust me, you don’t have to follow me, okay?” He turned back around and started walking again. “If either of you want to look for them on your own, go ahead.”

“Liar,” said Virgil, walking up and putting a hand on Janus’s shoulder.

Remus came up on his other side. “Yeah, Harvey Dense. We’re not going to abandon you.”

Janus put his hand on Virgil’s and smiled faintly at both of them, and they kept going.

* * *

“AAAHH!” yelled Roman, pulling Patton out of the way as a huge tree fell across their path with a crash. “Patton, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Patton murmured, staring at the tree. “That tree just came out of nowhere.”

“Hey, look,” said Logan, pointing. “Ax marks. Someone chopped it down.”

“Indeed, ‘twas I,” said a new voice, and the Woodsman stepped out of the trees.

Patton gasped and tried to run, assisted by Roman pulling on the back of his hoodie, but the Woodsman grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Stop! Listen!” Patton twisted in the Woodsman’s grip and Roman tried to pull him away, but the Woodsman was stronger. “The Beast knows your presence! Ready to claim you as part of his dark forest, but only if you give up! Keep hearty in both body and spirit and you shall be safe from him! Fall ill or lose hope and your life shall pass into his crooked hands!” The Woodsman’s voice got more and more desperate the longer he talked, and Patton and Roman redoubled their efforts to get away.

They were saved by Logan aiming a well-placed kick at the Woodsman’s knee from behind. The Woodsman buckled and nearly fell over, releasing Patton’s arm and the three of them ran for it, over the tree and further along the past. “No! Boys!” yelled the Woodsman as they ran. “Please! Heed my warning! Beware the Beast!”

“ **Woodsman.** ” A deep voice came from the shadows of the trees as Patton, Roman, and Logan ran out of sight. “ **We should talk.** ”

* * *

Thunder rumbled again as Patton stumbled to a stop, breathing hard.

“Okay,” said Roman, also coming to a stop. “I think we lost him.” He took a deep breath and put his hand on his chest to slow his breathing. “Nice job, teach, you got him with the old kickeroo.” Logan gave Roman a thumbs up, leaning his head back against a tree.

“Hey,” said Patton, pointing out into the rain. “I think I found somewhere we can wait out this rain.”

“Oh good,” said Logan. “As long as it’s not that old broken down-“

“It’s perfect!” said Roman looking where Patton was pointing to an old broken down house in the field. “Come on, guys!” Roman started off toward the house and Patton followed, looking slightly happier.

“Oh for goodness sake,” said Logan, getting up and following them.

The door to the house creaked loudly as Roman pushed it open. He stuck his head in cautiously and Patton did too, leaning on Roman’s shoulder in order to peek in without opening the door further. Logan leaned over both of them to look inside as well. It was a small house, with a fireplace, a table with a few candles on it, and some baskets in the corner. It also appeared to be empty. “Oh,” said Roman, straightening up and walking in, no longer concerned at all. “See Logan? This place isn’t so bad.”

Logan narrowed his eyes as he and Patton followed Roman inside. But it _was_ warm and dry in here. “Maybe.”

Patton wandered over to the corner. “Hey, what’s in these old baskets?” He walked over and stuck his hand inside. “Whoa!”

“What?” said Roman, coming over as well.

“We’re rich!” Patton laughed.

“What?” said Logan, joining them.

“Look,” said Patton, pulling his hand out to reveal a tiny black turtle in it. “It’s full of black turtles!” He laughed again, petting the turtle. “We’re turtle rich!”

Logan groaned in exasperation as Patton cuddled the turtle and Roman stroked its head. “You know,” Logan said, looking over to the lit candles on the table, “it’s kind of odd, finding a basket of turtle in an abandoned house, right?”

“Yeah it is kind of funny,” said Roman as Patton gently set the turtle back down.

“Nothing is humorous here,” said Logan, confused.

“Not that kind of funny, Logan,” said Roman.

“Huh? Oh.”

“Auntie?” said a new voice as the front door swung open. They all started and Roman dove for table to try to hide. “Auntie, I finished sorting-“ the young woman in and old fashioned dress and bonnet gasped as she noticed the three of them, Roman’s attempt to hide only getting him stuck halfway out from under the table. “Who are you?!”

“We’re burglars!” yelled Roman, panicking, and banging his head on the table as he climbed out from underneath it.

“No, no, no, no,” said Logan, rolling his eyes. “We’re not. We just needed to get out of the rain, and we thought this place was abandoned so we-“

Patton interrupted, also panicking, “So we came here to burgle your turts!”

“No, we didn’t!” said Logan.

Roman pulled himself together, calming down a little, now that it seemed apparent that the girl did not seem to be upset with them. “Okay, yeah, no, we’re not.” Patton nodded, realizing the same thing.

“Ha! See?” said Logan.

“I believe you but please,” said the girl, “hide yourselves at once, Auntie Whispers will be home soon.”

“Uh, what?” said Roman. Loud, heavy, footsteps suddenly sounded from outside.

“Hide, quickly!” she said.

“Where?!” said Patton, panicking again. Just then, the door opened again, and Roman again tried to run for it, but this time Logan grabbed his arm to stop him from banging his head on the table again. They did all back up together though as a very large, pale old woman with bulging eyes, in similar dress as the girl, came into the room.

“Oh dear,” said the girl, rushing to the woman’s side.

“Lorna…” the old woman groaned, “you did not tell me we would be having guests.” She smiled, and they all saw that her teeth were completely black. “What are these strangers doing in our home?”

She hunched over them and they all leaned away, but Lorna stood in between. “Auntie, Auntie, it’s all right, they were just trying to get out of the rain.”

“You have entered the house of doom, my dears!” The old woman pushed closer, and Roman stepped in front of Patton and Logan and Patton thought he might start panicking again, when she suddenly smiled and backed away, making a hoarse noise that Logan realized was laughter. “Oh, my dears,” she said, still laughing, “You need not worry. This house is no longer dangerous.”

“Uh, okay?” said Patton turning to Lorna, who he noticed was now smiling faintly as well. “What does that mean?” His eyes widened as Auntie Whispers walked over to the basket of turtles and, to his horror, popped one in her mouth and began to chew.

“Ah, um,” said Lorna, placing what was clearly meant to be a comforting hand on his shoulder, “it is quite the tale.”

“Twas an evil spirit,” said Auntie Whispers, finishing her turtle. “It had hold of my Lorna.” She put her arms around Lorna’s shoulders. “But no more. The power of the bell has driven away the wickedness and she is simply my darling girl.” Lorna nodded and smiled, returning the hug.

“A banished evil spirit?” said Logan.

“But- but!” said Roman, struggling with something. “But you look so creepy!”

“Roman!” Patton chastised. “I think you should apologize!”

“We were all thinking it!”

“Well, maybe we should all apologize then!” Patton continued. “Just because they may not look… um, so nice, doesn’t mean that they aren’t wonderful people!” He turned and held out his hand to Auntie Whispers and Lorna. “I’m sorry. We really did just want to get out of the rain. Could we possibly stay here until it finishes?” Auntie Whispers took his hand and held it.

“Of course, dears.” She smiled, again showing her black teeth, but this time Patton saw the genuineness behind it, even if it did still unnerve him a little.

“I am sorry for frightening you,” Lorna whispered to Logan and Roman as they shook hands. “Auntie Whispers isn’t quite used to strangers being safe yet, but it looks like things may be all right. Perhaps now things will be different.”

Just then, the sound of the rain began to slow to a stop, and Auntie Whispers said, “Although it looks you may not have long to wait.”

* * *

Auntie Whispers and Lorna waved goodbye to them from the doorway of the house. Patton waved goodbye sadly, remembering that they still hadn’t found their friends, even if they had maybe made some new ones. “Oh, a bit of advice,” yelled Auntie Whispers, “beware of my sister, Adelaide. She lives in the Pasture. She must not be trusted!”

“What?!” Patton dropped his hand, wanting to go back, but Logan and Roman were moving on, and he chose to follow them instead. “Did you hear that?” Patton asked the two of them once he had caught up.

“Yes,” said Logan, “and it only confirms my theories.”

“We better find them soon then,” said Roman. “If I rescue Remus he’ll never live it down. We’d better hurry.”

“But what if,” said Patton, giving voice to a thought that Roman had alluded to but he hadn’t wanted to say out loud, “what if Janus knew?” Tears began gathering in his eyes. “Everything we’ve learned about Adelaide says she’s dangerous and he was just going to lead us straight there.” The tears were falling now. “What if- what if you were right Roman, and we never should have trusted him?” Roman put a hand out to comfort him and they were both looking at him with such sympathy but he kept going. “Why can’t we all just get along with each other?!” he cried. “Why do we keep splitting up?!” Roman put an arm around his shoulder but he pushed it away. “And you two are just as bad! You were arguing this whole way!” He breath hitched and he wrapped his arms around himself, calming down. “I just,” they were staring at him and he just wanted them to stop. He wiped away the last of his tears. “Let’s just keep walking. We need to find the others.” He started off and Roman and Logan followed in silence, exchanged concerned looks where Patton couldn’t see.

* * *

“ **Yes… Yes…** ” said the Beast, standing in the shadows and fog behind the Woodsman, who had been watching them argue from a distance. “ **All hope will soon be lost. We’re lucky they had the pluck to best you, Woodsman. This isn’t your story, you shouldn’t be interfering**.”

The Woodsman watched them go with a pained expression. “I know. But one cannot trade souls as if they were tokens! There has to be another way.”

“ **No. There is only me. There is only my way. There is only the forest, and there is only surrender.** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> place your bets, who's getting got by the Beast


	8. Babes in the Wood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who will it be

“Home! Home? Home?” yelled Roman, trying to lighten the mood. “Could be around any corner!” He looked out of the corner of his eye at Patton, who hadn’t spoken in a while. They were currently riding a small wooden outhouse they had found across a lake, and Roman was attempting to row with a ukulele.

“~ ** _Tra-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la…_** ~”

Faint singing came drifting out of the fog, and Logan and Roman looked up.

Roman nudged Patton lightly. “Hey, Captain, do you hear that singing?”

“Yes,” said Logan, turning his head, trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from, but it was already fading away.

“Not you, skipper,” said Roman, giving Logan a look. “I’m talking to the Captain.”

“Right,” said Logan, turning to face Patton. “Captain Patton, do you know who’s singing?”

Patton was staring tiredly into the water. “I don’t know much of anything anymore.”

“Oh,” said Roman, deflating a bit. Then he sat up again, trying for another smile. “Did you know that dinosaurs had big ears, but everyone forgot because dinosaur ears don’t have bones?”

Patton blinked. “No. I didn’t know that, Roman.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “That’s because it’s not true.”

“Yeah, it’s a rock fact!” said Roman. He wasn't completely sure why he had said that, maybe it was something he remembered...

The singing drifted back into earshot for a moment.

“~ ** _Tra-la-la-la…_** ~”

Patton sighed. “It must be the Beast out there, singing.”

Logan was about to respond, when they suddenly stopped with a thud. Roman gasped dramatically and pulled a bugle out of somewhere and blew a little fanfare. “Look!” he said, nudging Patton again and pointing. “We’ve reached land!” He jumped out of their makeshift boat, pulling Patton by the hand, and Logan followed. “Feel the dirt! Smell that tree!” He pulled Patton forward and Logan gently nudged him from behind. “We must be almost there.”

“Roman, Logan?” Patton said, dropping his hands out of Roman’s.

“Yes, Patton?” Logan said, turning to face Patton directly.

“Can we please stop pretending that we’re going to get home? Or that we’re going to find the others?”

“What?” said Roman, his and Logan’s eyes full of concern.

“Can we admit we’re lost for good? That we’ll never find anything in this fog? That the others are probably just as lost as we are if they’re even okay at all?” He sighed heavily. “Can we just admit we’re never gonna get back home? Can we do that?”

Logan grabbed both of Patton’s hands and tried to think of something to say. “Patton, you can do anything if you set your mind to it.” That sounded a bit flimsy even to him.

Patton just sighed again. “Well, then, let’s do that.”

“Yes, sir, Captain!” said Roman, saluting and blowing his bugle again, right into Logan’s ear.

“Roman!” Logan shouted, losing patience. “You need to stop being ridiculous! It’s not helping!”

“Well you’re not helping either!” Roman shouted back. “You can’t even figure out why we got lost in the first place-“

“It’s probably because you were goofing off and getting into trouble as usual-“

“Well at least I’m doing my _job_ then, you’re not even-“

“STOP!” Patton shouted, and it echoed in the sudden silence. Logan and Roman looked guiltily at each other. “I’m…” he put his face in his hands.

“Look,” said Logan putting his arm around Patton’s shoulder and leading him to a nearby tree. “Why don’t we try taking a break? We’re all a little stressed right now, why don’t we try to sleep for a little while and see if that helps.”

“Good idea, Logan,” said Roman, joining them by the tree, putting little piles of leaves on everyone as blankets as they all lay down. “And I can dream up a good way of getting us home!”

“Don’t worry, Patton,” said Logan. “Everything will be alright.”

Patton nodded slowly. “Goodnight.” He rolled over, turning away from both of them.

Logan and Roman exchanged worried glances again, then closed their eyes and tried to get some rest.

* * *

“I’m TIRED,” Remus whined, splashing his mace into the water. He was trying to use it as an oar, but it wasn’t working very well. “And we haven’t found ANYTHING at ALL-“

“And,” said Virgil, “We didn’t even learn anything from that Auntie lady or Lorna except that Adelaide is bad, and we already knew that.”

“This fog is getting thicker, as well,” said Janus, gripping the edge of the small boat that they had borrowed slash stolen from a fish, of all things, and looking around. “Normally I’m all for obscuring things, but perhaps we should take a short break.”

“Finally!” said Remus, nearly crashing them into the grass.

“Be careful!” said Virgil as Remus clambered out onto the land and Janus followed. “We don’t want to lose the boat.” He rummaged around in the bottom of it and found a short rope, which he used to tie it off to a tree.

Remus found a pile of leaves and dove into it headfirst. “I call these leaves! Ooh, look what I found underneath here-“

“No!” said Janus, stopping Remus from describing whatever he had found at the bottom of the leaf pile. “I don’t want to know, especially not if I’m going to be sleeping on top of them,” he continued, laying down.

“Who said you’d be on top?” said Remus, wiggling his eyebrows, and Janus raised his, but Remus just dumped a pile of leaves on top of him and then onto Virgil as he lay down on Remus’s other side. “Nighty night everyone!” As before he promptly started snoring loudly, flinging his arms and legs out over the other two and nearly hitting Virgil in the face.

Virgil moved Remus’s hand off and gave a small smile to Janus. “Just like old times, huh?”

Janus returned it and closed his eyes. “Good night, Virgil.”

* * *

Logan awoke with a start. Roman was snoring heavily, and Patton was breathing slowly. He also looked very pale, and… were those branches? That wasn’t good. Why wasn’t that good? He gave one of them an experimental tug, then pulled his hand back in shock as they grew tighter around Patton under his fingers. Then a shadow that was over him shifted slightly, and Logan realized that the shadow had been what had woken him up. He turned and looked up… and then further up.

The Beast was much taller than he expected, and Logan was speechless for a moment as he took in the shadowy figure standing in the fog, some kind of cloak or fur drifting off its shoulders, its huge glowing eyes staring directly at him. “What…” He swallowed nervously. “What have you done to Patton?”

“ **I have claimed him. He is mine now.** ” It was a statement, not a question, and though the Beast spoke quietly, his voice was deep, and Logan shivered for a reason that had nothing to do with the growing cold.

“Isn’t- isn’t there anything I can do?” Logan wasn’t sure in the fog, but the Beast’s eyes widened, and Logan was sure he was smiling.

* * *

Roman turned in his sleep. Was somebody talking?

“Roman? Patton?”

Roman felt Patton stir next to him. “Logan, shhh!”

“I- alright. You sleep.

Roman rolled over and groaned. “Okay.”

“I have to go now. Goodbye.”

“ **Yes. Come. There is much to be done.** ”

“And then you will show us the way home, correct?”

“ **Of course. We made a promise, didn’t we?** ”

Roman heard the sound of footsteps walking away, and he rubbed his eyes. “Logan?” He sat up, knocking Janus’s cloak off of him and looking around. “Logan?” Patton was still there, right next to him, but- “Logan?!” He shook Patton’s shoulder. “Where did he go?” Patton blinked his eyes open, looking around.

“~ ** _Tra-la-la-la, Tra-la-la-la…_** ~”

Roman paled and he looked at Patton, who was pale and terrified looking as well. “No. No, no, no, no, no!”

Patton tried to sit up and was briefly blocked by the branches. “What the heck?” He broke them easily and brushed them off, looking out into the fog and snow, now, and shouting, “Logan? _Logan_?!”

“~ ** _Tra-la-la-la, Tra-la-la-la, ‘tisn’t much that I require…_** ~”

“Roman?!” Remus?

“Patton?!” _Virgil_?

Janus, Remus, and Virgil ran out of the fog, all of them covered in a light dusting of snow. “We heard yelling,” said Janus, “I mean, we didn’t hear anything, at all-“

He was stopped by a crushing hug from Patton, and Remus shrieked and tackled Roman into the snow. Patton pulled away and grabbed Virgil, hugging him even more tightly, if possible.

“Alright,” said Janus, “as much as I’d like to sit here and hug you all-“

“Logan!” Roman yelled again, hugging Remus briefly and then flinging him off to run out into the snow. “LOGAN!” He ran for the lake, which was now covering in ice, and they all ran after him, going as fast as they could. “LOGA- AAHH!”

“Roman!” They all shouted together as they watched Roman slide on the ice as it cracked under his feet and he disappeared into the water with a splash.

“ROMAN!” Virgil slid to the edge of the ice, grabbing Roman by the sash and pulling him out before he could sink too deep.

Remus helped pull Roman fully out of the water, and Patton knelt next to them and brushed the wet hair out of Roman’s face, whispering “ _no, no, no, no, no…_ ” and Janus ran to get their boat, which was only a few feet away on the shore.

A harsh wind blew as they all climbed into the boat, setting Roman down on Patton’s lap. Virgil took off his hoodie and wrapped it around Roman as he shuddered and coughed, spilling water over the floor. Remus pushed them along the icy water with his mace and Janus attempted to steer, and Patton hugged Roman and Virgil tightly to him, and the snow kept falling and the wind howled above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I couldn't include that super bizarre dream sequence that Greg has in this part of the story, the only one of the sides I could see having a dream like that is Patton and he was occupied at the time, also who guessed right about who was getting got


	9. Into the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how did they get here

_It was Halloween, and they were driving, having gone to Wal-Mart for a last-minute candy run. Everyone was laughing and spooky music was playing through the car radio, to which they sometimes sang along. They decided they couldn’t wait to get home to open up the candy, so they started opening bags._

_Thomas turned away for a moment as Joan handed Talyn some candy and Talyn handed him a piece from the backseat._

_“Look out!”_

_Thomas swerved, and there was a crash, and then silence._

* * *

Roman woke suddenly, wrapped in something warm. The wind blew and he shivered, opening his eyes. “Oh!” said Patton, squeezing him into a tight hug. “You’re awake!”

Roman blinked and looked around. “Is this Virgil’s hoodie? Where is he?” He sat up suddenly. “Where’s Logan?”

Virgil spoke from beside them, rubbing his arms in only his thin shirt. “Janus and Remus went to scout ahead, although Remus is mostly just destroying trees at this point.”

Roman noticed and took off Virgil’s hoodie to give it back and noticed he’d been wrapped in Janus’s cloak as well. Virgil took it gratefully and Roman pulled Janus’s cloak tighter around him, as he was still a little damp. He looked around and noticed that they were back in the woods now, so the wind was lessened but it was still blowing and there was still snow all around. “What about Logan?”

Patton’s eyes watered and Virgil shook his head. “We haven’t found him yet,” said Virgil. “We found some footprints, but it’s hard to search in this storm, and you needed to dry off and rest.”

“That’s right,” said Janus as he and Remus returned out of the snow. “We still need to take care of ourselves. None of us are good to Logan dead.”

“Okay,” said Roman, nodding at Janus. “You’re right.” He pushed Janus’s cloak back into his hands, and Janus took it with a smile. “But I’m okay now. We should go.”

Remus growled into the woods. “Princey is right. We want to be good for him alive, too.” He clutched his mace with both hands, and they all followed him into the blowing snow, and further into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look I'm really sorry it's so short you can look at it as a breather right before The End


	10. The Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end

The wind rushed through the trees, carrying echoes of desperate screams.

“ _Logan?_ ”

“ _Logan!_ ”

Logan shivered in the cold, exposed in his short sleeves. “ **Did you fetch for me the golden comb?** ”

“Will this do?” He’d given them the cloak, he wouldn’t need it anymore.

“ **This is a honeycomb.** ”

“It is a golden comb of honey.” Patton would be proud of the wordplay.

“ _Logan?!_ ” He turned his head at the sound.

“ **Never mind that.** ” Okay. It was for the best. “ **You’ve brought me the first two items, a golden comb and a spool of silver thread.** ”

“It’s only spiderweb.” Virgil would be worried. He hoped the others had found each other.

“ **Now I want the sun.** ”

“What?” The sort of ridiculous fairy tale request Roman might think of.

“ **Here. Lower the sun out of the sky and into this china cup**.”

“That is not possible.” Insane. Like Remus.

“ **Anything is possible if you put your mind to it, right?** ” Logan shivered at his own pathetic words. “ **But hurry, the sun will be setting soon-** “

“That’s it!” A trick, a falsehood, like Janus.

He placed the cup on a rock, right underneath the setting sun. “See, now the sun will lower itself right into this cup.”

“ **You have figured it out. And I thought you might give up**.”

“Never.” He couldn’t. He was so close. “Just wait.”

“ **Yes** ,” the Beast sighed. “ **Just sit there in the cold and wait.** ”

* * *

Virgil ran to scout ahead this time, and they briefly lost sight of him in the snow. “Logan!” screamed Patton for what seemed like the hundredth time. Remus just screamed, howling to match the freezing wind.

Roman opened his mouth to yell again as well, but Janus put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Rest your voices for a minute,” he said. “It’s no good if you yell yourselves hoarse.” Patton turned with a look of despair in his eyes, then ran to bury his head in Janus’s shoulder. “Everything will be okay.”

Roman looked Janus in the eye and saw that Janus didn’t believe it any more than he did. “Yeah, okay, it’ll be fine, Patton, just wait until Virgil comes back.”

Remus threw his mace to the ground in frustration and was about to say something, but just then Virgil burst out of the snow, a wild look in his eyes. “I saw Logan! He was- with someone! This way!”

They all scrambled to follow as Virgil took off at top speed back the way he had come. He wiped his bangs out of his eyes as he tried to remember where they needed to go. “I- I think it was that way!” he shouted over the wind, though it was dying down the further they went into the trees. “Hurry!”

* * *

“~ ** _Come wayward souls, who wander through the darkness, there is a light for the lost and the meek. Sorrow and fear are easily forgotten, when you submit to the soil of the earth._** ~”

The five of them ran into the dark clearing. The Beast’s eyes shone out of the shadows. “ **I knew you would come**.” He moved aside. “ **I have something for you.** ”

The Beast moved away, leaving the lantern behind. There was a gasp from Patton. It was Logan, eyes closed and face pale, standing, but only because of the many red branches wrapped around him, covering him up to the waist and looping tightly over his arms, shoulders, and head, knocking his glasses askew.

Remus howled and they all ran to him. “ _No!_ ” yelled Patton, tears streaming down his face.

“What have you done?!” yelled Virgil grabbing a branch and attempting to tear it away.

“ **He will burn nicely in the lantern.** ”

“No,” said Janus, and Roman swore he saw tears building in his human eye. His snake eye pupil was a barely visible slit. “He won’t.”

“ **Didn’t you wonder where the adelwood trees came from?** ” The Beast laughed softly. “ **The lantern must be fed.** ”

“No,” said Roman, standing and drawing his sword.

The Beast laughed again, louder this time. “Shut up!” Remus growled, “Or I’ll rip your tongue out of your mouth!” The Beast laughed once more and moved further into the shadows. Roman and Remus looked at each other and, not needing words, charged the Beast together. The laughter and screaming mixed together as they tore through the clearing, smashing trees and ripping up snow and dirt.

“ _Logan_ ,” Patton sobbed, holding the side of Logan’s face as Virgil walked around him, kicking and pulling at branches. “Logan _, please…_ ”

Logan stirred slightly in the branches. “Patton?” he whispered, barely audible.

“Logan!” all three of them yelled his name, and Patton hugged him as well as he could, and Virgil and Janus looked at his face with concern.

Logan coughed. “What are you doing here?” he rasped. “I beat the Beast. You can go home.”

Janus half smiled. “You really believed that any of us would leave one of our own behind?”

Logan dragged in a shallow breath and looked at Patton. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, Logan,” said Patton, pulling away slightly. “You don’t need to apologize-“

“Yes I do,” he continued, coughing. “You were right, this was never going to work, we should have stayed together, we shouldn’t have argued so much-“

“Oh, Logan,” said Virgil, “that doesn’t matter, we always do that-“

“It _does_ matter,” said Logan weakly. “We all need to be better, and listen to each other more.” He looked at Janus. “We’re connected. We need to work together. We need to stay together.”

“You’re right,” said Virgil. “Which is why you’re coming home with us, okay?” He grabbed a branch again. “Let’s get him out of this, come on!”

Patton grabbed a different branch and pulled too, but Janus turned and looked up. There was a sound of harsh breathing and the Beast approached. “ **Give me my lantern.** ”

“No way,” said Janus, stepping in front of it. “What have you done with Roman and Remus?”

The Beast’s glowing eyes shifted to Logan, then back to Janus. “ **He is too weak to go home.** ” Janus looked at Logan as Patton and Virgil struggled to undo the branches. Logan was indeed pale, and his eyes were sunken, and he appeared to have passed out again, hanging limply as Patton and Virgil moved around him. “ **He will soon become part of my forest.** ”

“I won’t let that happen,” said Janus firmly. He’d never spoken truer in his life.

“ **Well then,** ” said the Beast, and Janus saw his long fingers come together in the shadows. “ **Perhaps we better make a deal.** ”

“A deal?” Where were Roman and Remus?

“ **I can put his spirit in the lantern.** ” The Beast waved his hand at the edge of the light and the lantern flickered. “ **As long as the flame stays lit, he will live on inside.** ” Janus heard a groaning noise from the side and saw Remus and Roman picking each other up from the snow, Remus supporting both of them on shaky tentacles. “ **Take on the task of lantern bearer…** ” Janus looked at Patton and Virgil, who had made no progress. “ **Or watch him perish.** ” Janus sighed. “ **Come here.** ”

“Okay.” Janus picked up the lantern, feeling the cold metal even through his gloves.

“What?” said Patton, turning away from Logan.

“Janus!” said Virgil.

* * *

Somewhere, a bell rang

* * *

Janus smiled. “Beast, you know as well as I that that would never work. Even if we weren’t connected,” he glanced at Roman and Remus, who were recovering quickly, and Patton and Virgil, as Virgil notice an ax that had been uncovered from the fighting in the snow and they began to use it to hack at the branches, “I’m sure I’d just _love_ wandering around in the woods for the rest of my life.”

The Beast’s eyes wobbled strangely, suddenly filled with more colors, and when the Beast spoke his voice wobbled as well. “ **I’m trying to help you.** ”

“You’re not trying to help _us_ ,” said Janus. “You just have some weird obsession with keeping this lantern lit.” He lifted it to his face, looking into the flame. “It’s almost like _your_ soul is in this lantern.”

The shadows suddenly swirled around them, the lantern now lighting only a very small area around Janus, and Patton gasped. The Beast spoke again, louder and deeper than he had before. “ **Are you ready to see true darkness?** ”

Janus thought he heard Remus giggle. “Are you?”

He inhaled, but- “ **Don’t. Don’t!** ”

Janus laughed, and the clearing was lit with the lantern again. “Here, Beast.” He set the lantern back down and helped Patton and Virgil pull the last of the branches off Logan as Roman and Remus helped each other over. “We’ve got our own problems to take care of.” He helped Patton lay Logan over Virgil’s back, Patton startling a little as Virgil’s spider legs appeared to assist him. “We are going home.”

* * *

_~One is a bird, two are the trees, three is the wind in the leaves…~_

* * *

“Thomas?”

* * *

~ _Four are the stars, five with the moon, six are the fish…_ ~

* * *

“Thomas!” Joan?

“Can you see me, Thomas?” Talyn?

Thomas groaned and opened his eyes. “Ugh. Where am I?”

“The hospital,” said Joan, leaning back in their chair. Talyn let out a relieved sigh as well.

“The hospital?” Thomas sat up, still leaning against the pillows. “What happened?”

“Car crash,” said Talyn. “We’re okay but… you were out for a while.”

Thomas blinked. “I must have been. I had such a long… dream?” He looked at the two of them. “You guys remember when we watched Over the Garden Wall?”

* * *

_And so the story is complete, and everyone is satisfied with the ending. And so on and so forth, and yet, over the garden wall..._

* * *

_~…How the gentle wind beckons through the leaves, as autumn colors fall~_

_~Dancing in a swirl of golden memories~_

_~The loveliest lies of all~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, no, it was all a dream, it wasn't even real! Well, neither are the sides, and the Unknown exists in a weird realm of real/not real just like they do. Just because it wasn't exactly real doesn't mean it didn't really happen to them, you know what I mean?
> 
> Thanks for reading, everyone, I hope you liked it! Let me know in the comments what your favorite part was!

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah see how it's kind of like in the story but also after it? Also don't worry, this story is completely written already, so the chapters will come out kind of fast and it should be done on Halloween.


End file.
